pekinese paradise

no.99

2007-07-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

Off Day-Monday=Family Day

yesterday, jie and me brought ivan for movie... transformer... cos i have two free tickets so promise ivan that will bring him for this show.. and never mention to kids that what u plan to do... cos little ivan has been pestering me for a week.. argh!!!! but i kept my promise... trying to catch it at jp @ 8.50pm... but tickets were sold out! can't believe it.. and it has been showing for a week liao lo.. still sold out... not to disappoint him... we went to tiong bahru... for 9.50pm...

and the most 'bo liao' thing was i watch this show for the 2nd time.. but it's ok for me.. cos i enjoying watching... good right??

nothing better to do... go all the way to jp n from jp to tong bahru....

see... little ivan is really realistic... bring him for show.. he will really treat u nice.. normally.. he won't chose to sit next to me.. see... see... see.....

half way through the show we go toilet.. and asked him to took wif the penguin... see his pose.. don't look down on little ivan ok... 12 shot ( shi er lian pai) can't beat him down ok.... see his funny faces below:

take 1

take 2

take 3

take 4

take 5

take 6

take 7

take 8

take 9

take 10

take 11

take 12

take 13

take 14

take 15

take 16

take 17

how?? steady bo?? those pics that has only him are his self-shot ok...'mai siao siao' he catches every angle one... ok...

my family is different of most of the ppl... mine is on monday... cos papa don't have to work so.. if my off falls on monday.. that will be our family day.... papa n me will have breakfast together.... but this monday..being a lady boss, we shall have ying, jie and ivan.. ivan will go to school after breakfast.. ying had permission granted from Mr Tan for not going to school...while jie... as a 'ying ying mei dai zi' has no excuse or reason to be absent lo....

Ever since,we went hk we love Dim Sum alots.... we will crave at least once in a month and this time we aim for boon lay.. anyway.. usual place la... this time the food disappoint us.. not as good as last time... n now they collect the $$ on the spot after all food is served.. i don't like!!!

vain sisters.. yes we r.....

she jealous.. so take wif her.. ahahaha......

i just wan to flashback the feeling of carrying such school bag again... and know what.. ppl kept staring at me... hello... i'm not mad la... just flashing back can?????

no.98

2007-07-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

BEST GirlFriend's Solemnisaton(ROM)

well... wee...shan...!!!aha~ u have become somebody's wife already hor..pls la.. should give him a title liao.. hubby..not bf.. last time during poly keep calling him as 'peng you'.... wah... u r stressing me n chris lei... hahaha... u know? anyway.. really feel great!!! feel happy for u.. just like what u have said.. nothing can describe ur feeling... for me... anxious to share ur joy.. somemore.. at the special moment.. i have that 'special feeling'... 'L-S' non-stop... so i really scare... cos i'm afraid of being late... i don't want to miss it... i wan tat share ur joy... so mine (feeling) n urs (feeling) is different...

but really thanked you for extending... actually took a video of u two.. saying all marriage vow.. but end up video only has chris n my voice... weird lo.. hahaha... but some photos which i took...

well... after taking u two... we starts to 'zi -lian' liao.... n this time ard yan yan join in the fun too...

vain ba?? as usual one....

me..chris..yan yan

take 2....

see.. two of them still took during buffet

r they cute??

see... who's the cultprit??

this is better.....

lastly... nicest of all... must be 'xin fu' ok!!

no.97

2007-06-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

angry!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes just wondering am i not suitable for customer service job??? frankly, i really enjoy working in this line..... cos it enables me to communicate with ppl..guess all my friends agree to this... cos if i didn't talk much in a day.. something must be wrong.. ppl always describe me as noisy... chatty... haha.... back to the topic... besides that, customer service gives me the satisfaction... like customers who gives compliments n thanked u for what u did... really...got 'man zhu gan'... ppl like them really brighten up ur day! i don mean no compliment = no satisfaction....

but why nowadays customers are so hard to please... like that cannot.. like this not happy...today, jus kanna a combo..... piang eh... now we don't take in cheque over counter.. so as normal.. told this customer... " mdm... now.. we don't take in cheques over the counter... so u need to drop this cheque in the QCD..." and she starts to say (in ap way) "how come nv inform us!!"
"we have put up notices....it started on the 14th of may..(passing her the flyer)"...flyer haven reach out to her...she starts again" who's bother to read those notices!!" argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feel like asking her to shut her mouth n listen to me 1st........well... that's what all the nasty customers do... she asked for HQ's contact, wan to feedback on this... kaoz!

really can't stand her.... n next received a msg from J, asking me to see her after my customer.. knowing what happened... i asked her customer complained me right... she says(the way when she think u r at fault) customer says u..... before she said i asked to stop n let me tell her what i told the customer n the WAY i said it..... then she replied 'think customer don't like the way u said to her.. she's not given a choice '

gosh!!! shit her la... she's being contradicting lo... nv inform her la.... told her abt notices..who's bother to read...what a f***!!!! really... ssssighhhhh!!!! what she wants!!! i'm not fetching a big f money per month from her ok... i don't have to put up all her nonsense n ap!!!!!! kns old hag!! haha.. evil right?? but i also quite pity liao can only vent it out here... at work no matter wat still got to 'ren' n 'ren' .... finally not that angry anymore...

i'm so touched by my weeshan!!! (muack !!) er xin bo? knowing that too... haha anyway, thanks buddy!!! truly appreciated! remember last week...probably get out on the wrong side of my bed... suddenly feeling bad.. msg her while on my way to work...think i scared her.. can see she's like gan chong spider, starts throwing qns to me... as usual showered me with care n comfort...knowing u will be reading this... so take this as an opportunity to THANKED YOU. u have been putting lots of effort in our friendship( 38 grp)... everytime u're the one who will make the effort to arrange for our dinner..despite, me is the one who fly u ppl.. with kites n planes.. ahahah... promise the coming one... i won't!!! promise! 07/07/07... for sure!!!

sign off~

no.96

2007-06-05T15:56:00.000+08:00

time to blog again

think i haven't blog since last year.... don know why out of the sudden feel like blogging again

so did ask help of my mei mei in changing of blog skin..... she did for me... but ask her more on photo... she damn ap....... she will be mad when reading this.... haha...

and because of this sudden feeling.. fly one kite out... suppose to treat my fren lunch... (which i owed him from march) really sorry... anyway not the 1st time to flying kite...

during this few months... have been busy or act busy with many many things.... enjoying and slow killing myself at long fei.... especially... with my darlings........ haha...

one time was to celebrate one of my darlings' birthday.....ShArOn's birthday

while me n adelia darling... took the same off day the next day.... (1st time allowing us to take) here's the birthday gal...

looking at the no. of candles... yup not younger anymore... opps! haha... she's cute ok... really.. someone who i enjoy being with

the photo here look like 4 r gone... haha.. (adelia...sharon...me n cheryl).....

we (this group) is the loyal supporters of 1st class band at long fei... whye ee..adelia.. me support ah di!!!! sharon... 'xiao hu zi' (don't know his name) ed.... supports violet?? (not sure)

3 madness..... learn this pose from my ka-ka ... a malay show(the lizard man) somemore posing is not enough... sound effect cannot be missed..... haha.......

of cos! i won't miss to take photo with her....... nv failed to take one...

lastly happy birthday to my darling SHARON.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

didn't post my hk trip.. and also lazy to recall n starts posting... here are some of the photos i like.... see papa and us.... ivan always extra... love to act 'seh' in photo........ but overall still nice nice!!!

family photo

me n mei mei taking with minnie.......

no.95

2006-11-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

shopping spree !!!!!

thursday, well, my off day... haha... went shopping wif jie n ying.... at bugis.... got ourselves lots of things.... each of us.. were so hapi... contented with all the things we bought... haha.. life is like that sometimes get contented so easily... n lastly.. pampered myself n the "2" ( ying n jie) wif sakae sushi.. y describe them as "2" .... cos me, as the lady boss... treat them sushi.. so can 'ya-ya' abit.. hehe.... anyway really.. enjoy the sushi... n see my sis... there she goes again..always eat ma-chiam like very nice.. just hope that someone will approach her for endorsement... hiak hiak...

the food seems like her tongue...

ying n jie...vain vain....

for donkey years ying hasn't join me n jie for shopping...everytime ask her go out with us... she will say" don't want la, go with u all very SIAN!!" kaoz.. use that SIAN... immediately...u will see red , all the anger....
ended up...ying is the one who says she has not shop enough... kns lo...haha... so next time.. better don't use the SIAN anymore then we shall go for shopping spree!!! again... hehehe... remember our promise hor.. every month ... hahaha

lastly the vainpot club took photos... together!!!!

victory for us as jie-mei

poses for we "3"

another victory for us...cheers!!!!

n.... lastly smile~

happy~

no.94

2006-11-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

bRanCh cLoSinG

drag till now then starts to blog the day when we starts to pack n shift things to vivo...on the 14th... we closed early..even 1 auntie so cute... came in talk n talk n starts to shake hands with each n everyone.. haha.. even me got to shake with her.. i doubt she also don't know me... but having such a lovely customer brightens my day and lighten that day's feeling... after we closed... all the place went so messy... and me and my khakis-cartoon adelia.. put our BIG NAMES on the CPU.. haha see the pics below....

this 's mine.....

khakis-adelia

see the place go so messy after we closed and finish all the paper work

and after a half an hour everything was cleared..

wa.... the feeling on that day was... really that ...argh!!! cos leaving the place where i nurture and grow (i keep emphasize) but yet to nurture and grow.. i got to change to new ground and starts to grow again....

guess me n adelia was sharing the same feeling... even took a pic of our smoking area...

this is our after work smoking area... now at vivo was the so-called mac or taxi-stand...

not to miss out my the other khakis.. yani.. she has lots n lots of sound effect.. n every of her sound effect really sounds that funny... me n her laughter add together ah... no one can fight with us lei... "mai siao siao eh..." sometimes i feel so fortunate to have them as my colleagues... blessed!! and having that kind of feelings we also won't miss out of taking photos haha....

khakis...friends...buddies

now in vivo city.. we have new challenges to face and have to adapt new colleagues and environment... heng!, me have adelia to share and complain... everything over work... aiya... working in service line sure have lots of nasty customers especially those born with attitude problem one... lagi-worse... never give u face... but giving u all her/his black face...whenever we kanna this type sure always local msg.. each other... next time sure must take photo in new branch...

jia you! jia you!

no.93

2006-11-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

jiu jiu's wedding-30/09/06

finally...jiu jiu gonna get married... at first was quite shocked when he announced...well... to be a bit bad.. ya it's time for him to get married if not, wai-po will be worried for him... cos jiu jiu not 'yan-dao'...not slim... not rich... and seeing his face having that scar... ( the one follows him over 20 years) hai... nowadays, all girls are practical and realistic ... so we feel glad n happy or him... "jiu jiu!! jia you !!!" after so long... finally ma's side has something to celebrate...

we went to malaysia for jiu jiu's wedding... cos his face was big enough for me n sis to go over... keke.. one thing different in m'sia's wedding dinner is we can sing during the dinner.. (k-ing) like nobody's business.. and of cos vain vain us take photo..shooping before dinner starts and enjoy in dipping ourselves in liquor...
surprisely... this time around have 1 more member into our vain club that...is... ah fat..(sure scold me if he read it)

ready anot...

sis always like to do this..that makes ppl say she is younger....argh~

vain* vain* ( new member added)

"act act" ah fat like got scar..those 'dao-ba' or face kanna lorry dash over..keke

happy! happy!

no.92

2006-09-23T21:24:00.001+08:00

stars in ma's family

last sunday... having some gathering at ma's place... cos yeah... "wo men jia you xi shi".... my uncle getting married at the end of this month... finally... eh.. eh... bad right? haha.... so having buffet at ma's place on sunday... eversince working... i never had the chance to touch the mahjong... so i had a chance on sun... playing with ah yi... and jiu jiu.... and sis....

i did mention the star.. who's the star? cos of not jiu jiu cos the disadvantage of getting married at later age will not gain popularity... keke... the star is ELLA... not the S.H.E... but my little cutie cousin.... haha...

aiyo! see baby gal with NO hair... funny right... wonder what's on ah yi's mind? somemore wear tube dress.. let her wear hat mah... or wear other suit if she's doesn't want her to wear hat.... love her smile so much...

that's better with hat on her BOLD head... bad lei...

lagi best... sweet right.... bo gong si buay sai eh....

the more i look at her, i just feel like hugging her... but no matter wat and how hard u try... she try cream and cry one .... hai... she damn cute... she will dance when she heard that 'duo diao' song by du de wei.... haha....

and on sunday... it was raining cat and dogs... so me and ah yi were mocking at the person who paid for the buffet cos in hokkien saying, there is one that says... "if it rains on the day which someone going to treat for dinner...it means the boss who is paying is STINGY!.. definitely... not ma..cos she wasn't the one paying... hehe....

and after the rain, rainbow came out...... heard of sunshine after the rain ... for this case, is rainbow after the rain lei.....

so nice.... though it doesn't look clear in my camera...

no.91

2006-09-23T20:11:00.000+08:00

we are MOVING out !!!!

khakis...frenz.....all readers... haha... know what? from last week we have been packing, moving and shifting all the things in the branch from cupboards, shelves and inside the box to upstair... saying about upstair~ ~.... that eerie... dark dark room scared me that makes me scare my cartoon, adelia.... haha...yesterday both of us walk up the stairs with our hands carrying 3 boxes of toys (safe box for kids).... sounds heavy right... but the fact is very light... before that we ask boss.. lights on? she says no meh? so we thought it was on.. happily walking up the stairs without thinking those eerie things.. till the moment i said.. " adelia, very dark not on!" then the more i stared into the dark dark room, the more eerie thing comes into my mind... so i talk abit louder " go down lah... i scare.. very dark" that cartoon... adelia... said i scare her and see her pattern scare me more... ahahaha.... two stupid girls... then here comes a so-called act brave woman, another colleague of mine, liza.. said " what to scare...? funny u 2.."

then when i asked her to go up she gave the frightening look... see act brave only...then real heroine come...my boss.... she went up followed by
me...adelia...yani.. pack pack here...shift shift there...till 9.30pm then we left the branch.... really shag lo.....

oh ... we're moving from west coast to VIVO CITY... a coming up NEW SHOPPING MALL..

LADIES.... SHOPPING MALL!!!! A mall that has the biggest cinema wor... really big and grand lei.. (from newspaper) that will be our new working place... and supposingly, we have to pack again but boss say if boxes didn't come in today..then we will not stay... wa.. everyone..was like praying hard that boxes don't come...

and yes.... our wish comes true.. then after work ...yani.. adelia and me have our lunch together.. talking and laughing so loud in the hawker centre, i guess all my etiquette, don't know go where liao....well, enjoying.... cos long time didn't have such enjoyable lunch liao..

let me show u guys.. my piece of art... haha...

nice? wa... for this one... i spend long time cos of the overlapping..... haiyo...
i promise myself to blog more often if not... my blog gonna rot... and now can take more pic at branch and post here.. haha

no.90

2006-09-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

...friday...

long time didnt blog i also forget how to start liao.. it took me a hour plus to blog the previous one... hai... jialet...lag behind liao.... one month back was marie's bird day... opps... is birthday hor.. 21st... celebrating at MOS... well...heng! the next day was my off day.. so never stone during work... almost half a year didnt meet up with each other.. don't even remember when was the last date we met each other.. haha....

well quite enjoying that day cos vainpot, me... took photo with them... satisfied! gals ah.... took photos during clubbing... where could they take? aham... of cos, is the toilet la... so u should know why most of the clubs focus and do so nice to their toilet liao ba... no!!... is restroom... even use 'nicer' term ok....

see we vain bo? gals ma.. but i can be very very 'zi lian' at times.... haha

next is en en... so young so vain liao... everytime go ma's place sure she wants to take photo... and when i look at her she will k k tae wif me.. see her face below.. u can imagine or figure out what i'm trying to say.....

ok i shall not blog anymore... it's time to go ZZzzzzZZz...

no.89

2006-09-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

bitchology

bitchology was one of mine.... khakis at workplace send me.. find it make sense... it says:

when i stand up for myself and my beliefs,

they call me a

BITCH

when i stand up for those i love,

they call me a

BITCH

when i speak my mind, think my own thoughts

or do things my own way, they call me a

BITCH

being a BITCH

means i won't compromise what's in my heart

it means i live my life

MY way.

it means i won't allow anyone to step on me.

when i refuse to

tolerate injustice and speak against it, i am defined as a

BITCH

the same thing happens when i take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when i act a little selfish.

it means i have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who i truly am
and won't became anyone else's idea of what they think i "should" be.

i am outspoken,

opinionated and determined. i want what i want and there is nothing wrong with that!

so try to stomp on me,

try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty i hold within me.

you won't succeed.

and if that makes me a bitch, so be it.

i enbrace the title and am proud to bear it.

make sense ba? hai.. so long didnt blog le.... so got to update once in awhile... since today is pa's biggest day.. and even took a half day off... so blog it... eversince, i started to work.. and no more that 'zhuo' (sit) til off work... i have been so tired.. it seems like everyday not enough sleep.... and at the same time feel that i'm getting older.. haha.. can't club and work at the same time... recently hook on DVD... korean one la..hongkong one la... , watch that "my lovely sam soon" until sam soon watch me.. haha...

quite enjoying at work.. but being a suay-bong, worried that this kind of feelings and interest may fade off soon.. hai.. but as long as the 'cartoon' in my workplace is there ( u know who u r..write 1 then circle) keke..., i'm not worried.. i will enjoy and laugh out loud after work....thanks for being a nice pal to work with...

no.88

2006-07-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

.....cArEfReE.....

i shall announce to myself as well to all my friends who are always worry and care for me... FRIENDS out there!!! u guys don't have to worry about me anymore... cos i have put down my 4 years BURDEN... how do i do that ? actually everything starts on the day when everything has been convey to me clearly but i was trying only... however now, i'm proud to say i MADE it!! i DID it!! it all happened on last month..and never will i forget this date... 28 JUNE .. i found out that the one who i waited and longed for.. has got together wif one of my friends... well... frankly speaking, at first sad and shocked cos that was one of my friends who on and off will ask " how are we"? tell me " be patience, things will be better.." but ended up did that to me.. seriously, i may not know and don't wish to know how she feels or whether she had feelings for him in the first place.? that was only AT FIRST!

i'm not trying to be noble.. neither do i blame or hate that guy... and instead, i should be thankful and grateful to BOTH of them... they wake me up... i have been too ignorant for 4 years!!! i can only blame myself for so stupid and naive that once again i was betrayed and hurt by friendship.. and incidents of such happened TWICE! thank god, that the bond wasn't that close so it doesn't matter...

from all these mishap, i begin to lose faith in friendship and relationship.... for friendship, not all friends who u trust and believe in.. will trust and believe in you.. be it years or the bond... still have to take some precaution.. i know being that will be unfair to friends or perhaps, i'm the only one... but beside this, i also found that the friend who betrayed me got to knew that i know this matter and she also got to know from a friend... so what does it show? hai.. it's ok... i believe in fate...

for relationship, not all boyfriends are that steady... when u r wif them or the feeling between u two still exist.. that guy will never say those harsh or nasty words..however when situation changes, their colours and faces turns around... whatever nasty words goes around.. for me..just blame myself for being blind, trust and met the WRONG guy or met the WRONG guy at the WRONG time... haha...

lastly, just to mention that i'm CAREFREE!!! please don't think that i'm too good to bully... i may be stupid to fall into ur trick and looks like gong-gong but i can assure you.... i will never say DIE ok... try me.. and bear in mind that there is one word called "KARMA".

NO MORE GREYISH_WORD MESSAGE FOR HIM... IT DON'T WORTH MY EFFORT....

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!! ESPECIALLY MY KHAKIS WHO ACCOMPANY ME THROUGH THESE TIME....

no.87

2006-06-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

nO.mOrE.mondaY.bLueS

no more monday blues... what does that means??? yes..no job? no monday? out of job? yes... i quit my job...quit that stressful job... free of that stress environment... but that doesn't mean i'm choosy ok... let's put it this way... try to put urself in my shoes.. imagine u work from 9am to 7pm in office and if for that day, u didn't crack that f**king "zero" u had to stay till nine.. but that doesn't mean for sure u will crack it... and the next day u will get it from.... UR BOSS!!! and... now for the very 1st time, just realised and got to know and taste the words---> SOCIETY & REALISTIC <--- seriously, this 2 words real hard for me as a newbie to the society to digest...haha.. sounds that serious..perhaps plus abit of exaggerating... but whatever, thats my feelings for my very 1st job (full commitment)... i keep telling myself it's okay, perhaps i made a wrong step and not everything in life will goes so smoothly for me... and now... away from that company... for my very 1st experience as well as for that company... 3 newbies who got into the company for a week and left together... hey! that doesn't mean i have no perseverance... i have!! i will prove to u...my fren (sensitive sim) haha~ i'm sure i'm not the only one who experience this... haha... i regretted after my 1st day at there..i knew the job scope and environment don't suit me... and everyday i was that reluctant to go work... so i know i will resign sooner or later but i don't even know that it all happened on the day when contract comes....

lucky for me..that i have friends that are understanding and willing to lend me their ears...haha and a great fren who told me..." i understand... having a mean superior is like the worst situation to be in...".. a pat on ur shoulder lei... after so long... didn't really dare to drink or club recently almost 1 month!!!! cos everytime i will be the drunkard who got scoldings from sis and friends...haha... and finally... on sat... me, the one started to ask and went for drinking...yeah! shiok...! got myself in martell... and a treat of lamborghini... woohoo~ shiok! haha.. vainpot won't the chance to snap herself.. hehe

her eyes seems like after a long crying.. it was red and teary..haha.. the fact is.. she never!

hope.that.u.r.doing.fine.and.happy~

no.86

2006-05-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

....HK trip.....

so lazy to upload and update the photos... this trip was back in this year march.. my 1st holiday trip after my exams.... it was also one of my fav. place...i shall cancel from my wishlist.... enjoyed this trip alot... though i wasn't in the mood.....the weather was good real good...cold and thats good for us as shoppers..hehe...we wont get so 'pek chek' easily due to hot and humid weather.... well... stupid sis and me..in fact, the 3 'thousands gold' in this family... are really really...stupid... so stubborn that we 3 didnt trust the weather forecast... all of us bring short skirt la... and we can count ourselves lucky because we still have our jackets along.... and when i tell sis i'm wearing my boots along she said "no need la.... the weather so wet..later spoil it.."

this was a very very short trip.... so we fully utilised all the days...after the few hours of flights we went to check-in and do things like wash-up...unpacked... well i was so shag but still there to take photos for them...see my siblings..so di di siao siao...

crazy 3 of them......

of cos after these 'act-act' thing we went to have our dinner and shop those night market (temple street) near our hotel as after dinner the time is already 9pm++....sis definitely bought her fav sunglasses..and both sis take photo again...and this is the ONLY thing (take photos) we do in hotel room after each time of shopping...

someone craves for these kid of stuff...sunglasses...accessories...

on 2nd day, all of us headed to the 'wang tai xian'... as papa is someone religious so that's is the first place we went in the morning...it's really early... around 9 am..we went to have breakfast and on our way...we met one of papa's fav. hk actor...and for sure... we took a pic....

outside the temple....

me..and her....

we also went to watch hk scenery at the 'xing guang da dao'...the laser the lighting was really nice.... we walk hard for this scene...cos we walk from jordan all the way to there... but too bad my cam cant caught the scene well... but before going to this place... we had a long long shopping day in kowloon... ladies market..fashion street.... got some boots and clothes....

she got herself a jacket and... a pair of boots for me...

vain vain us....

like the breeze... and the weather...

creative shot.......

a tricky one....

love this scene and place alot.......

after these few hours of enjoyment... we went to our temple to eat seafood at 'da pai dang'
most of our dinner were taken at late night or even combine as supper.... enjoy enjoy...enjoy....

took a pic after meal....

we endorse for their beer...SKOL....

papa asked me to take wif him..yet he wasn't ready...

this one worse lo...don't even bother to look....

and on the last day we got a nicer place for dim-sum... yeah! so far we have tried their wanton mee.. tong-shui... nai huang bao.... po lo bao....

a pic of nai wang bao... (sis says look like someone's butt..)

no.85

2006-03-31T03:37:00.000+08:00

my gRaduAtiOn niGht on 9/3/06

everyone waits patiently for this day... since the day we decided to go for this grad night...our daily sch's topics were..." what to wear for that day?? gown? or casual?" "must it be formal?" " wan to set hair mah" haha...really...damn '38' of us... i mean my clique... sad that weeshan missed out that night...

finally....exams were over....that day arrived... everyone starts to tense up and stressing each other from top to toe... hair...dress...and heels.... haha... in short, since it may be the last graduation dinner we had...so everyone wants to be the BEST on that night.....

and pictures worth a thousand of words...so shall see some of the photos we have taken

before my hairdo...like that movie 'kung-fu' that bao zhu po...

the backview of my hairdo...i like it... this is one that i ever had....

ready for that night...vain* vain*

vain me and mei

all the girl are glam and ready...... we enjoyed so much.....

my 1 and only 3B/o6....

our very nice lecturer cum tutor....

this one looks like our 'zhang mu niang...' haha...see her gesture....

our head of retail..... chris... ur fren ah... haha..

glam glam cher who teaches us all etiquettes....

my SB club fren... handsome?

derrick...my fren...

this one... always call me 'mark & spencer' makes me so paiseh in lec hall and class...

my PTN... dora....

chris's darling...a humourous tutor for fm

a really good and nice lady who watch me n chris grows....

my BD tutor....

my BEST fren... supports and encourages me whenever i had a fall......

no.84

2006-03-03T05:38:00.000+08:00

ah fen's chalet...her biRthdaY(22 feb)

yes...it was my cousin, ah fen's birthday... she was the only cousin who both me and sis are care and worry for...cos we do have lots of memories in our childhood... especially those at teck whye...haha...those were the most memorable ones haha.... as i always tell my friends that just before friendster starts, i have all kinds of links with my own friends...it's always so coincidence that one of my friend is another friend's friend... And for this chalet... it was my cousin's friend who is also our relative...booked it! she gave one of the room to ah fen and we were invited... guess who do i meet in such a so-called relative 's chalet...i met my poly classmate... just before i went to the chalet...i was telling sis that i guess i was the only lazy bum who still can go chalet during exam period and paper was on fri yet i was at chalet on wed.. this is how terrible i can be!!! both of us...as usual...like those market 'obsang' who talk like nobody's business...damn fucking loud.... and laughing and giggling like those 38 ass.... haha~

and the next friend i met, was marcus.... a friend who always think that i mock at him when i praise him...think that i laugh at him for not having gf when i ask him not to work so hard and not overwork.... hey marcus...be more confident la.... someone who is more low- confident than me...haha.... both of us was so shocked when i went out to pick my friends and he was about to walk in... and the 1st thing he ask me was.... " where's the toilet ?" i was like ????? ....

me and limjing.....my year 1 38 kaki...

my very very best sis.... one who was there when i need her... happy birthday to you!!!!!

my cousins.....ah fen and ah boy...looks more like a couple..haha....

see her face... the credits goes to me n sis...haha...sis got to sabo her yet i didn't had the chance...but when she kanna mine...her cake was half gone...cos her face was used to mould on the half of the cake... hiak hiak~

the 3 of us...the best shot....yeah!!! best cousins!!! yum seng!!

she was so in love with my friend's 2- seater car since that day we went over to Qb bar...kept saying how chio the car was to his bro...haha....and sis drag her to take a photo....

disgusting...after all of them finished BBQ... 3 of us starts ours... we were saying that pa using dustbin cover to fan and light up the fire so ah fen was doing the same and sis the 38 wanted to take a shot ...

and....the next 38 follows... know what's the similarity that me and fen got??? our eyes...when we smile or worse laugh... our eyes hardly can be seen.... still remember when we were young ...my neighbours often thought taht we were real sister cos both wearing the same pyjamas...

3 of us got anklets.....

miss.him...

no.83

2006-03-03T04:40:00.000+08:00

Out in tOwn

me and sis were out in town... 1st, a happy day for me yet a boring day for her... booooring cos she had to wait for me for almost 2 hours outside my agency before we could go shopping... and what's 'suay' was she wanted to go 'da hao'....

as for me... i'm happy cos my patience has proved me something and also i have to thanked someone who encouraged me, telling me to wait patiently (when i think i won't got my chance) as he believe chances will come... THANKS!!! yeah... i was asked to go for an audition for hair show... i really hope i'm able to get this assignment...

i know...i was so bad..letting sis to wait 2 hours somemore got shit still can't go toilet... haha.... so to compensate her...i buy her dinner...and so we headed to far east for ramen... and we ordered....

sis ordered a japanese hotpot...tell u...reaaly nice with tom-yam soup base...drooling~

mine..was this jap-western teriyaki chicken...generous portion somemore it came with a rice..

again...funny poses by sis....cos she was trying to act like the food really looks that yummy (indeed it was already very nice liao..)

see... see good actress that her eyes just goes like this....

hmm... this one look nicer... she claimed that she can endorse for this shop..

and.....is my turn..of cos she can't count me out.....

eating my yummy chicken...

and i realised the wallpaper beside me... it looks real in pics..it look like below the shop was a busy road...

sis caught this ugly side while i was doing it to her....shit!!! haha..

missing.u...

no.82

2006-03-03T04:10:00.001+08:00

beLatEd pOst

yeah! i have finished my final year exam papers... and meaning that's also the end of my student life...well...times really passes real fast..end of 3 years of poly...unbelievable... now i have to find jobs.. and now i have all the time to blog and blog... and now it's time to blog all my belated posts that i missed out during my hard core time...( rushing projects and mugging for exams...)

1st, it will be Chinese New Year posts.....

basically...it will be same for every year.. early in the morning i would be so-called disturb by the lion dance ..however.. this year, i woke up early to prepare and 1st thing to do was to go ah ma's place...greet her.. and before we go over.. the 3 of us...will be dily-daly on putting make-up...dressing up...doing our hair...this year my meimei becoming 'hiao' cos she was one of them too...

here are some of the photos... we took

wasn't ready yet..and my bro keep playing with sis's camera...

mei and me

3 of us.. trial and error with the self-timer (see the signs we pose?? it's accordingly to our sequence)

another one...

like my make-up for that day!!!

and cos of my cousin having some problem so we meet her out at Qb bar..and again the 2 vainpots.....

took while waiting for train....

act cute ffor the shots...

me and my bro..on our way to temple on "chu-er"

i.miss.u.though.it's.new.year....

no.81

2005-12-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

...cOuntinG dOwn...

at last!!! i have been neglecting my blog eversince the last posted on 20 nov, due to busy (slacking) schedule in school...and actually....the same "shit" happened again..that brainless moron creates "dramatic" scene again~ whatever it is... i would like to say i won!!! i won in the "attitude" battle ( a bit childish in the battle). she thinks her attitude and foul faces can beat me down??? nah!! i'm very proud to say...i won!! and she surrendered on the NEXT day haha.... i'm no longer someone who will lower my voice and trying hard to please you when you quarrel with pa....hey! mind you it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS... thinking back..i'm really foolish, acting like clown whenever she attitude me, i still smile to her. NOW...fat hope! i won't...

recently, i have been staying over at ma's place almost every weekends...enjoying my weekends... i have been sss..slacking throughout my term in school...especially my attendance in school..used to be skipping "lessons" but now...skipping "sch days"....knowing that many are unhappy with me... sometimes, i don't know how to express myself...i feel that, people don't understand me well.... i know skipping lessons, isn't good but i have reasons... to them, i'm lazy and 'chao keng' but i can say i realise the importance of family members..n value each of them lotssss.... i really thought that people would be able to understand me and my situation... yet i got to know... i'm wrong! NO! can't they put themselves in my shoe? what if any side having problems, will you rush over to help or at least be present there??? I WOULD! or do i have a choice??? i'm not trying to blame everyone and definitely i won't!...but i just wish that people would be able to understand me or at least spare a thought for me can?? is that too much??? in fact, i'm very DISAPPOINTED in A and B.... especially one of them.... someone who i think understands me well... yet...haiz.... i know out there, there are people who loves to gossips and people who loves to listen and share gossips..i know..so i learnt to shut my ears from all shits and bad comments regardless is about me or not... cos i feel that people who worth it..i'm open to any comments...but sorry to those who don't worth it.. haiz... why it is so hard to find someone who you understand you well and true to you???

one of my fren so cute...funny lo...from the things she asked, i realise the place i stand in her heart..hehe... she thought i was angry with her...how would i?? hey!! you know me well?? you know that if i'm not happy, i will definitely 'shoot' you de lah...so don't worry....now, i agree..no..yes we agree...we seems to be fakers... of cos not faker to each other.... why? does true friendship exists??? if ah dog and ah cat are friends, will ah dog backstab or gossip ah cat?? if that's the case, does they consider as friends????? back to this horrible topics... haiz...to me, GOOD FRIENDS DON"T BACKSTAB NOR GOSSIP....just like my sis, she's my good friend as well, an very good example of good friend. if both of us have a bad quarrel, we still sit on the same table to have our dinner and after that cold war to cool down...aiya, i'm not going to stress on these anymore...give it up soon..."ren ming liao" once graduate, i will be busy with my 2nd pharse of life ( working)....

birthday coming...don't get the wrong idea...i'm not asking for presents.... but i know i won't be receiving one of the sweetest gift from 'him'... nevermind...aiya, still haven't thought or plan any place to go...as usual, see till the day then decide it...

hope.that.you're.doing.fine.take.care....

no.80

2005-11-20T12:50:00.000+08:00

i'm back again...

i'm back... here to blog again... ya..school starts.. boring...slacking...all the way to projects!!! here comes the nightmare for everyone of us...yesterday meet up with my sec sch fren, an ex band member cum good buddy in that section...(flashing back) we used to kanna all shits...by Mr Tan...haha~ a nice meet up... something better than the one in last year...well... jy....i no longer keeping saying..." that's fattening...too oily...Eeeee...i don't take beef...i dislike having sushi..." wahaha...instead i took a bento set hor.... a nice and full enough for me...!!! after having our dinner..chilling out in explanade-california bistro....had a iced mocha for myself...well poor jy u got yourself a $20+++ drinks!!! she had a long island ice tea, a terrible taste cocktail...it's awful...it looks like lemon tea...and the 1st sip... strong alcoholic taste..as u swallow..the bitterness was in your tongue..mouth... and lastly got the lemon flavour...know what?? my silly and funny fren...stealing my sugar syrup to pour the whole cup into her cocktail...oh!! cocktail with sugar syrup??? that's why my poor jy have to re-order an earl grey tea..... that cocktail wasn't highly recommended!!!!

we took a 'few' shots of photos...but sad to say i can't upload my photos!!!!....
jy!!! meet up again ok.....

missing.u.like.crazy....
be.strong!.my.fren...i.will.be.there.for.u...

no.79

2005-10-30T06:45:00.000+08:00

sOmeOne whO i ReSpeCt MOST.....besides my own parents

finally i decided to post up this... there many reasons for me hestiating.... and final decision is... yes i should as i know i will feel better... i know holiday will be soon over..no more emotional breakdowns.....i know i got to be strong so that i am able console and support 'him' as well as i need to brighten up 'his' days not forgetting my two best sis...but i'm utterly disappointed for those people who comments RUBBISH !!! ENOUGH of that!!!! so what of being an emotional person, can't i have my OWN rights of being sad... you can jolly well wash your own ass and F*** C*** my business and stop bullshiting saying that i'm an adult should know how to think and stop being like a kid and doubting about my sadness. if you're one of them...do you see the red cross on the top right hand corner? simple ! just point to it and click... thanks...( below are all quoted out from my diary and memories)

i have lost someone who i respect most.......i shall named him as uncle we have no ties of blood nor i have any close relationship with "him" now...but being a sense of shame, i dare to say even my own relative don't treat me so well..( i'm not comparing). though he's gone but he will be remembered by my papa, my sis and me...not long ago, last sunday(23/10) i breakdown..crying cos of some bitches...that was papa's innermost thoughts and feelings..he told me not to bothered about what others said.. he don't believe..and he said he feel sad too...he remembered uncle's moustache ( neng pia qiu-hokkien) and papa said everytime when he pass uncle money, uncle would offered papa cigerette and they would chit-chat (shocked! jiejie and me don't even know and then now i know why when papa's car kanna vandalised, uncle knew about it and i don't) and papa said he was the one who helped papa that time when uncle can choose not to...and papa said uncle is a very very good guy with sense of justice and he was the only one who papa respects and 'hock' him...

when i received the news..immediately i breakdown...(sorry jiejie..i frightened you) i couldn't accept...as the last time i saw him was a few days ago...i cried for a few hours continuously and i really wanted to go over but i knew i can't so i go over the next day... at times, when i think or flash back i cried....i do miss him...how i wish i'm able to dreamt of him, like jiejie do...seriously...i abit silly...over those weeks i couldn't sleep and i kept hoping that i would able to see or dream of uncle..i just want to say what i want to say....( sorry j-sis, if u read my blog)

flashing back.... on the very first impression uncle gave me, i remembered was on the 2nd day of chinese new year of 2001...well...fierce..strict...quiet..just like everyone's papa.. i know my first impression wasn't that good... sometimes later, the first comments i got was...i talked too loud..and disturbing his sleep...no, he wasn't the one who approached me but aunty and 'he' kanna as 'he' knew it and didn't told me about that... as the time goes by, uncle treats me good... at that time i really feel happiness as i get along well with everyone in the house... besides being loved by 'him' i feel the warmth of a family, which i had not enjoy it eversince my parents divorced. i really enjoy my stay at there... aunty is the one taking care of my meals..chatting with me..sharing with me her life experiences...two very good sis who i never regret knowing them..treat me like their own sis....helping me all the times and be available whenever i need ...

however, my fear towards uncle wasn't subside...whenever i coma till late afternoon...aunty would ask me to eat and i would say "ok"and wait and take own sweet time...but when uncle said "zhenjie, qu chi fan" or " dou ji dian liao, hai bu yao qu chi,qu chi fan" tell you, i would quickly get my butt off from sofa or where i am and have my lunch with 'him'... being with 'him' for about a year and somewhere in 2002, 'he' got into some trouble and this draws us even nearer..and of course..uncle and me...i dare to talk to uncle. i do admit that the way he treats me, not only you but me as well thinking that yes...this is some "ways" that uncle and family treat me as i'm their son, brother's gf...ashamed of myself that i only managed to figured it out only half a year later ( in 2003) when we broke off....

yes...we are no longer related anymore..but all of them still treat me as ONE...thats why i always believe in fate and karma...fate bring us together...and i really really glad and feel that i'm blessed to know everyone...i still remembered what uncle told me when i was hospitalised...what both uncle and aunty did for me when i was really depressed over the break-up... i was shocked when i first meet up with them, bb and another aunty...uncle kept telling me "zhenjie, bu yao dan xin, bu yao xiang na me duo, yao hao hao du shu, yao yao rang papa dan xin" very very first time uncle talked to me like this... really touched... once, i was being set up by someone, i cried badly...both aunty and uncle knew that..and it was near my o-level exams..and during that time, i was revising at the Mac Donald nearby but before that i went over to take my SIM card and after revision, i went up to chit-chat with them...and both of them were so cute..after they send one's respects they started to tell me what they dislike about that someone and uncle said that "da hen xiang xin niang zi, duo zai fang jian" first time heard such thing from uncle...unexpected...and the first life experience he taught me was... " zhenjie, ni tai dan chun le, ren jia kan ni hao chi, jiu hui chi ni ".. after that uncle send me home with aunty..know what they did ?? before i left their home they gave me $50 and when i reached home and intending to return the money i realised that inside my bag i had $100..i knew they would reject so i quickly left after i dropped it on aunty's lap...to my surprise while my lift door closing..aunty appeared and gave it to me... not only this... aunty and uncle won't miss my 'angbao' on every chinese new year.. uncle would pass it to papa and papa would give it to me...

i did went over to 'pai nian'.... last year i went over to pass them mooncakes..and whenever i went over to pay them visit...(this scene will stay deep in my mind) uncle would appear to be sort of 'gan chiong'..he would quickly sit up when he was lying or resting or his expression would showed it..even jiejie would feel the same way...

at times, i really really wish to go over..i LIKE to chit-chat with them but being such a sensitive person i may think that they will think i'm pestering them...so i went over once in awhile.. the first time i went over after break-up...i put on weight abit..aunty commented that i look prettier and first time uncle said that " ya.."

there was one time when uncle send me home, with only me and him, he kept telling me "you kong lai zuo zuo" and before i felt the house he said that already..and another was we talked over 'him' i know uncle cares for 'him' alot...(through the incident whereby i stayed over at 'his' home (2002) as we need to attend something the next day on the morning while i was studying for exams..i first time saw uncle so vexed and couldn't sleep at night and smoke)..so i did told uncle while he was driving...despite of repeated remainder of not saying out anything regarding the contents in 'his' letter..i told uncle not to worry..'he' knows how to think and uncle kept saying "you kong xie xin ga ta..bu yong guan ivy de"... *shocked* he knew that i'm afraid??... next, this was something i am happy..cos after sometimes, uncle asked "did i write to 'him' "and next...asked "got bf anot" and he was like smiling while asking...i sensed something.....

after 'he' got into trouble... the first visit..i went with aunty and uncle... it was a face-to-face visit..yes, the first time i saw 'him' face-to-face after almost a year... uncle picked me up at my place and again we had some chatting along the way..poor them..got to listen to my complaints...and the first time i heard uncle saying that papa is a honest guy and i have to spare a thought for him as papa was stuck in between that 'woman' and us (children)... and during the visit...me and 'him' didn't talk and aunty do some talking and uncle kept saying " hor zhenjie gong" (hokkien) to aunty.. he 's always so thoughtful and not only on this visit...is on EVERY visit even home-visit... and as i had classes to attend so i could only afford to go for televisit at there once in awhile... once i was with 'his' ah ma and uncle...after the visit uncle asked me to join them for lunch and uncle starts calling aunty and told aunty i'm going over asked aunty to get some groceries from market...*touched* everytime, uncle would start talking by asking me "zhenjie, jin tian mei you du shu meh?" .. i guess he might afraid that i'm bored or what... i ever look into the rear mirror and the car wasn't moving..i saw he was looking at me.i know he was checking whether am i sleeping if not he would talk... another time was i really fat..i put on alot of weight and 'he' said that too.. after that visit, bb, uncle and i went to have some food..i didn't want anything..and uncle bought an extra bowl of dumplings to share and first time uncle joked with me saying " chi shui jiao, bu hui fei de"... another time was, i overslept..late for that visit..i knew uncle was the one who was 'gan chiong' so i called him, told him that i overslept, asked him to go with aunty...he said he was on his way and said that he U-turn and fetched me then i think not nice and within 10 secs, my phone rang, uncle called back..asking how long i need, he was on his way to my place..5 mins enough?? good right??? all these are only all the FIRST...as i don't wish to say everything out....

going to sleep...
hoping everyone is fine in terms of health and everything

hope.that.you.feel.better.now...i.miss.you..

no.78

2005-10-09T01:38:00.000+08:00

boRinG LiKe mE??? rOt? nUa-inG @ homE?? nO aCtiVitiEs???

nevermind...here are some video clips...that i want to share with you all....haha...there are funny....cute...and...violence de...but its a bit lag so if you want to see it properly you may need to replay again...so be paitience~

cute one....

this one in hokkien...but really funny...haha~ "ah mei, re jin shui~ ~ "

this one also funny lo...but its funny in their actions...eh...i wonder how can the boy behind concentrate ar??? or he's someone who can't be bother or he is also in the video but that was his role...wahaha...

this one violence in hokkien can say a bit bo liao but when i see my little bro enjoying when i play it then i decided to post it here....

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

after video clips still bored like me...?? haha comfort or console yourself with this quiz...try it out yourself!!!....hope i have ease your bOOooRRRrrrinGG day....

no.77

2005-10-08T05:27:00.000+08:00

dReAmt Of him

what's going on??? what happen to me??? i really hate myself for being like that.. whenever i'm free meaning that having holiday or no job to keep me occupied..i will have the tendancy of flashing back everything..yes..of course the same old illness...insomnia comes back..every night can't get into sleep...my night becomes day and day become night..i know that's bad for health..i tried but i just hate the feeling of lying on bed for 3 to 4 hours and it's really damn bird lei... lagi worse is i can get myself a temp job and even i can, i also can't as i need to paint...today i try by cleaning my room but still not tired lei...maybe not that shiong so i planned to clean my living room that one i sure i will have a bit of 'cek' and tired de...i also don't know why must i do such thing...note: i'm not hurting myself...i just want to get to some sleep... nor am i blaming 'him' NONE of his fault... the matter just lies with me...why like that??? i even dreamt of him last night and i think i think or do too much flashing back on that visit liao...i woke up i cried...really cried..nowadays...i really miss 'him' so much....tooooooo much till i re-read all his letters...24 of them so far...i read till i fell asleep and i think papa saw when he came into my room to off my lights...how i know? cos he's someone who don't ask or show but his actions can tell...when i woke up the next day he was telling me "eat ur duck rice and try to be happy..smile more..or you will look older" i still joke back by saying u then look older hor...but after that then i think that he saw what i was doing the previous night...

nowadays i'm just feeling down..really...everytime i have missed calls from unfamiliar numbers i will think and kindof daydream that its 'him'. he called me from.... just like he called me from m'sia..called me from remand 3 years back..all these silly thoughts just repeating like radio lo... i was hurt by his facial expression on thur...how he react when saying the topic on how fat am i....however this is something that motivates me and forced me to be firm with my determination...thanks..not sarcastic....i know i must..i have to..control my feelings and emotions towards him..i can't stress nor pressurize him...i can't pin too much hopes... when i'm lonely, stress, sad....everything will be a 24 hours radio that keep playing in my mind...emotions over my mind....but... when i'm busy, happy.... i will think on the bright side that even not having him by my side i'm able to make it as long as he's happy..even if his final decision or choice isn't me i should wish him all the best..bless him...mind over emotions...haiz..everytime i say, think, dream, flash back, talk, mention about him...my mood will be :( haiz... everytime i received his letter i will be :)

just like what he said, we will be able to meet in 6 month times...ya..damn fast lo...just a blink of eyes..will be in 2006 i'm really happy, excited, anxious, overjoy, nervous, panic, fear, scare, afraid.....cos i know the answer will be out...i afraid to accept the facts...i afraid to accept sad news..false hope....i can't accept the fact if i fail...BUT no matter what
i still don't blame you..as no promises for both of us to abide...and in fact, i have to thank you for all the encouragement and supports and advice that you gave me....as long as you are happy..
" it breaks my heart to see you happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that you are unhappy with me...."

remember.i.will.always.be.the.star.that.shines.for.you.even.your.glance.remain.elsewhere
miss.u~

no.76

2005-10-08T03:59:00.000+08:00

bLuRRrrrrr...sOtOnG

before i start my task...i have to admit something...i'm really...getting really very very blurrrrrr...and really gong gong lo...my friend, peijun aka michelle has given me a task (26/09/05) as 7 people i'll love to see people doing this.. my task is to continue this and pass on to my friends yet i can read it as 7 people i love to see....kaoz...blurrr sotong and really shortcut la...and somemore i even write a post that i'm being touched...oh my gosh!!!! why i becoming blur ...1st i was being tricked by alvin asking me how to see which side of my bed is facing and ended up he make a round to snook me lo..-_-" and now...i can make silly shortcut...aiyo....shall not nag and start my task....

i did this for peijun aka michelle...on 7 things...blah~ blah~

7 things that scare me:

1. losing any of my family members
2. losing my loved ones ( him)

3. friends become enemies
4. grow fatter and having pimples

5. loneliness

6. flying cockroaches

7. no money

7 things i like the most about me:

1. my straight teeth (after braces)
2. my toes

3. my ears

4. my shoulders

5. my feet
6. my oval shape face ( but becoming rounder..)
7. my nose

7 things i hate the most about me:

1. my fatty meaty chubby face with doubled chin
2. my pimples and acnes scar on my face

3. my big meaty thigh

4. my big big butt

5. my flabby arms

6. my hair ( born with natural curl so have to rebonding on and off)
7. my fingers (not long but short)

7 most important things in my room:

1. my big bed

2. smelly bolster ( the one sis n meimei keep complaining)

3. full-length mirror

4. facial products

5. handphones

6. lights

7. my diary

7 random facts about me:

1. i have grow fatter and uglier ( i have started doing something about it liao ok)
2. whenever i laugh, my eyes becomes 2 lines

3. i'm too emotional, can cry, angry and laugh easily

4. i can be crappy and full of cold jokes ( especially make a 'pop' sound and say softly to whoever besides me 'merry christmas' )

5. i can be easily tricked by people ( i trusted people easily and also very blur)

6. i am pessimistic

7. i am too chi qing (once i like someone i can't let go easily)

7 things i plan to do before i die:

1. repay papa as he has been my 20 years supporter of $$$ and give mama a good life
2. thought of experiencing a bungee jump
3. of course tour many many countries as possible but go hong kong trip 1st which i have been longing for
4. get my driving license
5. fulfill my dream of being an air-stewardess
6. having a long lasting marriage and have my own kids ( hope mama can attend my wedding)
7. able to own a car

7 things that i can do:

1. sleep or coma for long long hours
2. hide my feelings
3. being straight forward
4. being forgiving
5. being a listener for anyone
6. save money to get things that i have been longing for
7. do cards and portfolio

7 things i can't do:

1. living without guilt
2. letting go of 'him'
3. hate someone
4. hurt my loved ones
5. bulid up my confidence
6. having a companion that is VIOLENCE
7. make a decision without sis

7 things i say the most:

1. wo hen sad lei or sad lei
2. wo hen angry lo or angry lo
3. shi meh
4. kanna sai
5. suay bong
6. bird lei
7. er xing

7 celeb crushes:

1. xiao S
2. landy
3. sammi cheng
4. zhang shao han
5. yang chen ling
6. tao ze
7. beckham

7 people i'll love to see doing this:

1. sis
2. meimei
3. joey sis
4. peiwei
5. jiaying
6. peiqi
7. you

finally...done!!! really time-comsuming lei...people who i have requested..good luck ar...haha..

i.really.miss.u.ok..

no.75

2005-10-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

cLaSs cHaLeT on 2/10/05 ..yeah!!!

this was the first time as i had mentioned after almost 3 years 1st time i get to enjoyed the sweetest moments with classmates....yeah!!! so happy...suppose 13 to turn up but ended up only the 9 of us..nevermind... cos i still enjoyed sooo much...hehe....chow ah mui was so gan chiong that the day before she kept saying that...somemore when she can't wake me up she really panic..and kq keep saying that chow ah mui excited lah..blah~ yet she also lo..i meet her 12.15pm at lakeside..and the time not even reach 12pm she called me am i ready anot..haha..and as we go down every station we meet each of them..1st redhill..zinni...gan chiong also..haven called her, she already reach the station liao..next chris at tiong behru..then she was late...??? not on time to catch the samee train so get down to wait..next..pasir ris..meet sha..and fion...and two boys were NOT there to help out!!! nvm...so we started our own BBQ and eat 1st..as we are really hungry...

2 heroines (chris n sha) who start fire for us..and chow ah mui was the one who bbq for me..thanks...muacks.. and me couldn't tahan the stickiness of my body..i took a bath and went vain again..taking this...

i love this....
after that join them for food...yummy~ realised that the charcoal is finishing and there are 2 big big chrcoals that chow ah mui kept hitting them against the floor but she can't break them..then i told her that in the 7 months festival people treat charcoal as gold so must shout " huat ar !!" then will break...

see i told you it will break if you shout "huat ar" !! and i helped ah mui one ok...hehe

fion ate the 1st otah...envy lei...

see till the sky change from bright till dark..one ah gua still not here..the other joined us for the game (jin zi mi ma) the loser will have to finish the food..me as the suay bong keep geeting otah for free..i don't want lo...

finally came another ah gua who came to eat eat eat and eat...chicken wings...(alvin) don't christine hor...

not ready then kanna snap....

zinni..sha...yangyang...fion...lychee...chow..ah..mui...

the doing of naughty ah mui always took the ugliest side of people.. after that we went back to room...some watched tv some played games like..'hai tai' n '007' ' heart attack' haha...

kq trying to strangle yang yang ar??

see can play till so high one lei...

and just before fion zinni and yang yang go home we took a self timer pic of 9....in fact we really enjoyed...i love you all for being there..except the 2 ah gua who are late..didn't help us to set up everything ...( you know who you are..hehe..)

a candid shot!!! wahaha...

left the pathetic 4 of us... face kanna block my fingers

another shot..yeah..that's better..we continue by playing old maid..guess who's the old maid???

same rules...old maid got to eat the leftover food...haha

photos..... again!!!

me n chris...best buddies

kq n me...best buddies

sha and me

best friends

edwin and me (don't be eunice lah..see ur face...)

edwin..alvin..n..me...

see what this boy doing when people take his photo..

this one worse lo..think you are sleeping beauty ar???

haha..that's there is one saying..."zhui du fu ren xin" never offend gals ok..guys.!!!! don't christine and eunice liao hor...make sure you all come early to help next time..and know what they did anot??? they order Mc Donald and toopid them took away the key then the lights went off in minutes lo...leaving 4 gals in dark rooms lei...luckily..i suggested to open window when kq was eating the otah lo..or else i think me and kq will be crying out liao lo...somemore that naughty ah mui scare still want to scare people lo..she keep pulling my legs nad kq's and both of us scream and scream in the middle of the night...haha.. luckily edwin came back with the key and when they knocked on the doors i purposely wait and wait till i happy then open the door for them...wahaha...next...funny lo..when we played mahjong hor...don't know who so k-kiang lo..kiang tio ho still k-kiang lo..took away the 4 tiles and assume its lammy...yet another k-kiang edwin said he got counted the tiles...and after playing 4 rounds..edwin went toilet and chris take over..and we realised that the tiles short of 4..and kq and me..eye-contact and feel a bit panic lo..thinking of those errie things lo..as we were playing on the bed...there should be noise or sound if it dropped...still toopid kept asking edwin whether he brings into the toilet anot...and all of us get panic...especially kq and me...then we even checked every tiles lo..after awhile then i realised...eh...why no 'yo jiao' ar?? then i realised the 4 lammy was actually 'yo-jiao' but cant blame anyone also..cos the mahjong really...antique...liao...haha...really missed this chalet...wee..san..n.jing..not here if not sure fun ++++++ anyway...ah mui siad maybe having another at the end of the year...yeah...waiting..hor...

visit him today..i'm strong in what i say to him...
why didn't you feel how i feel....
coma...again...

no.74

2005-10-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

ah LianG's BBQ (1/10/05) @ yiShUn

knowing ah liang for almost 6 years since secondary school..wow..really getting old liao...still remember that he was the one that made ah koh cried for the 1st time cos he wants me to choose between him and 'him' haha...shh...by the way, when me and marie got to know him..we hate this group..really dislike i should say this..we even gave each of them names..haha..bad right? his nick was "inverted coca-cola bottle" (cos of his build) really..cos of one sentence..childish? but really blood boils at that time lo...but...now we are the best of best friend..he is my brother..who really take care of me..and i have to admit that i really neglected him for the past 2 years..i met up with him once in 2003 on his birthday and this year again his birthday...wahaha...same events and same present...somtimes reaaly hard to get gifts and presents for guys lei..so i always get him food. which is most realistic right..bought him mrs field chocolate brownies and cookies..hehe...this would ruined his plan of getting slimmer..hiak hiak...how evil of me...something different for thid year is he got a BIG cookie that marie and i wrote a little wishes on it...and both of us so silly wanna get a free candle from cakeshop but afraid that cakeshop are too 'cat' to give 1 candle so we aim hagen daz.. somemore..when we got the candle we were thinking whether do we need to pay for that??? then i let marie to walk off 1st then i walked off only when no one stop us..wahhaha..i told her that just in case the staff stop us..i will be there to pay for that candle...haha..really cheap lei... at 1st was quite left out but heng he didn't pang seh us lo..can't imagine in those BBQ i still can drink martell....OOooOO

this was also the 1st outing ( 1/10/05) for me and marie after donkey years ever since that nightmare we had..haiz..luckily..things wasn't that bad..we chatted alot..on our way..laugh...giggle...flashing back those silly acts that both of us did....everything seems to just happened yesterday only lo...after that we went to meet cy, jb and j (cy's fren) haha..playing billard at my past fav hangout..4y...and went drinking at s-11... quite happy cos it was also the day i removed my braces..and it was the the 1st time to meet ah liang and marie..hehe but that sickening jb..keep spoiling my mood by attacking me...whey..wth!! you are so bad lo..i didn't offend you and you kept rtying to provoke me..anyway..i hack u la...

marie and me taken @ yishun...

no.73

2005-10-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

BrAceS OfF yOu gO~~

yeah...finally...waiting for so long...it has been with me for 10 months...EXACTLY 10 months!!!!! (1 /10/05) now it has gone!!!! woo~ woo~..yeah yeah~ so nice...actually after knowing my treatment would took me a year...i have already made up my mind of putting it on my birthday..which is last year (31/12/04) then when i took it off will be on my this year birthday (31/12/05) the purpose was to see the difference and being 'k-kiang' last year during my BIRD day really that BIRD..cos it was so pain that i could even eat my own birthday cake lo... somemore it was the first time pa wanna steamboat at seoul garden yet i couldn't even eat my favourite...----> sichuan chicken!!! kanna sia lo....anyway..no worries liao cos i can eat the WHOLE chicken right KQ? wahaha..kq was the 1st one i called up to tell her that i had remove it ...haha...now...it's my time..to laugh..mock at her...on "patcipate" "zi-ji" who asked you (kq) to tease me when my mouth is full of air-con (cos of my cold jokes)...wahaha...i even can eat my apple without slicing the skin ok...kq...eat the whole apple just bite like that lo... n most importantly..i'm able the eat leafy vegetables lei..no scare n afraid that it stuck in between my brackets..lolx..enough liao...i shall continue when school starts..now i have in-built air-con in my body wahaha.. but today i just got my retainer...feel so uncomfortable after wearing..specially..when i'm talking..i know kq gonna mock at me..cos ma-chiam like short tongue lo...i can only adjust it upon the return of my dentist..2 weeks more..haiz...hope that he can do something to it or i will be talkinh like short tongue...yucks..like act cute...haha...

before.....

after.....

see the difference????? it's not miracle but it's how braces works...seems like i'm promoting hor...haha...anyway...a million thanks to all the evil wires that let me suffer (pain n uncomfortable) and most of most my old dentisit...n new dentisit...!!!! thank you !!!!

no.72

2005-09-29T09:06:00.000+08:00

bloGger dOwn?? my blog gOt viRuS???

wah liao eh...damn suay lo...suayness draw closer to me nowadays...i wake up early in the afternoon(28/9)..hehe ard 3pm++ log into my blog...nthing come out and now my post was like in the mess!! all my shortcut buttons in post was VERTICAL instead of horizontal...toopid lo...damn pissed off...difficult to post somemore i like to change abit colour here and there..lagi worse lo..( chow ah mui's created this word)....y suayness come??? yesterday..miss wee sms n need a listener and i just wake up and blah~ blah~ then finally made up my mind going to meet her cos both of us really...broke liao..so decide to meet at jp for drink and have a heart talk then typical vainpot of me got to prepare mah...bathe..dress..and by the time i get ready...miss wee missed call 2 times and a sms saying that " hey gal..sorry i can't meet ...got to rushed home...really sorry.." ( don't be mistaken i'm not blaming you, miss wee..but my suayness)..oh gosh! i have already prepared liao next! once again...blog kanna virus or what..cant log in..difficulties in posting...haiz...then mouth itchy asked miss wee out at 1 am+++ then again..need an hour++ to prepare to meet miss wee and by the time tu here tu there predicted time is 2.30 am to meet her and she need to be home by 3 am++ then for wat?? and then we arranged it on other day...i suggested it..(kindof no fate to meet... ) : )haiz...pao tang again!!! haiz....and supposely my frenz jio clubbing at black and cos no $$$ i don't want then chow ah mui want to sponsor me but cos of paiseh so didn't on them..then think here think there..and finally can go black liao..they are not going....damn fucking suay lei...but...on top of all.....i had a wonderful chat with my almost 10 years fren...peikuan i know if you are reading this you must be scolding me toopid lei..calling me this...well...that what i used to call you in pri sch...thinking back..time really passes fast...oh yo.. no longer that young anymore...also not too old...haha... ya..back to the topic....being soooo bird at home...i read through my list of fren blog... suddenly saw my name in hers...kindof touched...really wanna cry...happy crying like that...despite of neglecting her...not a sms in a month...she still treats me as important as before...while me..such as disgrace!!! nah!! X: but sometimes do wanna give her a call as we have a friendship for almost 10 years..sometimes really do miss her ( one thing that is really from the bottom of my heart) but though 10 years the distance between me n her also like 10 km far apart lei..so..i don't have the courage...happily chatting with her....teeling her about our days in pri sch...meeting out...my reason for not meeting her....and of cos!!! my criticisms...( true also lah).....i told her i feel zi bei when i go out with her..cos her frenz all so chio and pretty de..and me fat but ugly lo....jialet...like that really..wei qu her...and now gonna share wat both of us do during pri sch days...wahaha...( jun don't kill me ar...) is shuqun is our pri sch...then also nearby my house so..everytime after sch we buy cup noodle and then cheong hot water at my home to eat..slack..slack watch tv..and rushed back...is rushed back to sch for remedial lesson...haha..and no lesson..go her house at boon lay..still remember..we go the boon lay shopping centre NTUC is NTUC hor..buy stationeries...and of cos..good fren mah..so everything must buy the same..same pen same rubber (not eraser) and same same de pencil..wahaha...CLIMAX: both of us got very funniest and malu kindof habit to mention here....is....da-dang!!! we wrote letters to each other though both of us were sitting right to each other...laugh ba... bo liao...right? but hey..that was quite 'in' at that time ok...(pen-pal) wahaha...we both can't talk to each other but write to each other...and everytime got to go NTUC... to stock up new and cute leeter pad lo...wahaha...really miss those days....those funny actions we do.... those topics we said... and i dared to say that is the most innocent, no harm, no jealousy, no evil thoughts and pure friendship...i dared not say now don't exist..but frankly speaking..is hard to find trusty frenz.. or zhi-ji...if yes..there will be no words like backstabber, hypocrites, betrayers!!! right? besides that, we oso go through the same thing...and many things were so very coincidence ! like her....was ah koh 's buddy....and lots lots of things...but me suayness haven gone..so life are different for both of us...she got a good relationship after so many hardships...( i'm not desperate for it...thats an example)

<tO mY 1O yEarS fRienD> .: peikuan aka peijun aka michelle :.

first, thanks..a big big HUGS for you..treating me as your good fren...

ALL THE BEST TO YOU!!!!

remember...we are just a phone call away...ring me up if you need a listener, i will try my best to console as i bad in consoling....

i promise i will meet you real soon..overcome the 'fat' issue

i promise i will treat you same as my other friend..don't worry..

lastly, BON VOYAGE!! enjoy your trip to Bangkok...

got to 'coma' again..after doing mask..

i.miss.you...monkey-face...

no.71

2005-09-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

yeah...yeaH..yeAH...yEAH...YEAH!!!!

before i start off with my post..really damn pissed off....supposely was a happy blog cos no more paper to go..but toopid error i had to blog 3 times...(including this) kaoz...so sick of it...i was like writing the same thing again and again... finally...no more paper liao..yeah.!!!! so happy..after struggling for sooo many nights...i can continue to 'coma' again...well...'coma' is a word that my dear wee shan uses to describe the word 'sleep' on me...innovative ba?? just because i sleep till late afternoon or sunlight shines on my butt then i wake up lei?? anyway, thanks hor.... before i continue with 'coma' i really got to do something to my face..its condition is getting bad to worse liao lei...many 'da-ge' and 'siao-di' (small and big pimples) are fighting for their own territory on my face liao...help!!! help!!! i think i got to do plenty of masks..( $$$ gone~ )

during this holiday, i need to......

attend ah liang's BBQ (his bird day)
class chalet (yippie)
paint my house ( cos getting older and turning yelllowish)
getting myself a coach for swimming lesson (to pursue my dream of being.....)
meet up with my ROBs friends ( xu xu jiu)

and of cos...i do miss...my group of 6

(left to right) yang yang, lychee, chow ah mui, zinni, (me) , wee san

yang yang you better go that chalet hor or i rob your $$$$...'hiak' 'hiak'
finally, i can feel the class spirit liao..for almost 2 years +++ hope that this chalet will be an enjoyable and unforgettable one... and 1st time class DBA 3A06 is having our 1st chalet on 2nd oct yeah!!!

i will be meeting up with lychee, chow ah mui,and wee san... cos i am giving them an important task to be...." da dang!!! " painter of my house..so touched once i asked only they 'on' me liao...wahaha..please hor..don't fly me kite nor plane hor...i really need 'girlspower' hehe...

sianz..i thought of paying him a face-to-face visit so i wrote to him and asked him about this...cos i'm afraid he might feel uncomfortable so if yes...GONE...if no...YEAH!...(waiting patiently)
after his advice "actually before my visit, you should also think of what to say first cos whenever my family tell you to speak up you will say " ta you bu yao gen wo jiang hua" it is not that i don't want to talk to you but i don't come prepared."
"as for you, there are so many things happening outside, you can blabber about your little sis, bro or your night at zouk or whatever right. so do you get what i mean? grab the chance to speak up if you can don't wait for me cos i'm usually at a loss of words."

i know..actually..i do prepared it the night before but i was too anxious that everything just slipped off my mind lo...and i also hate myself whenever i have no topic with him... and sometimes only 'bye-bye' for the whole visit...i'm really upset lo... so i made up my mind if i have topics then i pay him a visit if not, save the trouble for auntie and uncle...( so sorry..)

yesterday, only the 2 of us, everyone had to attend a dinner at chervon. me n ying got frightened by a balloon!!! yes, a Winnie The Pooh balloon.... (helium type) , that sis bought it for ivan from chinese garden....cos it was bought long ago, the balloon started to deflat liao...and it is so light that it can move with the wind...and it was in the living room and soon it moved slowly from living room to pa's room while i was studying...ying told me she got frightened by the balloon so i told her i was also frightened by it... and told her it moved from living room to pa's room and there she screamed...and i was scared by her loud scream...and both of us squeezed and rushed into her room... later, while i was in my room, ying tried to scare me, she throw the balloon into my room and off the light...and before she could run back to her room..i throw to her and said " look!! the balloon is chasing you!!! " and these went on and on for 4 to 5 times...hahaha...the childish side of me...

i.miss.u.so...much..and.hope.that.your.answer.is.NO...

no.70

2005-09-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

I KNOW ALREADY OK!!!!!!!

yes...i know i'm fat!!! i know!!! i said "I ALREADY KNOW IT!!!!" THANKS!!! ok!!! can't you just stop saying that??? WTF, can't you just stop it! why must you say it whenever you see me at that KOPITIAM??? i really hate lor...it is not that i can't accept the fact of you saying that i'm fat..but when you say this, have you ever think that saying such things infront of so many of your friends and it is not only once is almost EVERYTIME....do you spare a thought for me...hello? i'm a girl ok... worse!! i'm someone who is easily hurt by people...i know..i know you have a daughter who fare well for exam...whatever..so-called "scholar" so?? so??? i know she has such a great figure..so?? soOoooo WHAT!!! just mind your own business lah!!! hey~! i have been trying really hard nowadays ok..if you are someone who going to hurt me..going to look down on me...or trying to be discouraging...please..get out of my sights...i had enough of all these craps....!!! ENOUGH !!!! well.. friends out there, who are reading this, you may think it's just a small little pea matter but i'm someone who really looks forward for gatherings..especially family gatherings..i love the warmest of BIG family...yet everytime..in such a happy gathering, there sure to be someone who will say and make comments...of cos, i do welcome comments..so i can make improvement..but not those hurtful words..such as " wah...your arms like my thighs eh..."...you know..comments like "hey, your thighs getting fatter or aiyo your arm so flabby ar?" (i'm not trying to be exaggerating but these are some of what people commended) all these i CAN ACCEPT!! really!!! sigh~i really need ENCOURAGEMENT...desperately need some supports from u guys... i know my pa, sis are trying to..but it doesn't help much....

i.know.you.have.been.supporting.me.just.like.i.do.
thank.you..

no.69

2005-09-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

iDiOtIc oLd HaG

what a day!!! my house that f**king OLD HAG shows attitude again!!!! shit u lo... if really thinks that u still looks good and have the abilities...by all means, pack ur things and close my doors..and note that...the door will not always open for u ok...so please consider it 1st... there is always a limit to everything...just becos you had tiff with pa, doesn't mean that the whole world offend you....warning:DON'T CROSS MY LIMIT!!! sis, got herself a job from a quite well-known company, after 'nua-ing' at home for almost 5 months!!! haha..pa was happy and wants to have our dinner outside..yet she gave that stupid face..who the f**k you are?? n what kind of attitude you gave? sorry hor we F**k CARE you!!! old hag!!! if i know she gonna be there for dinner..i won't be there...seeing ur face make me so full...feel like seeing a BIG pack of EXPIRED MILK (ps: u think ur bust still that firm...please la..its going 'down towards gravity) mind u..stop wearing those skimpy clothing la...it doesn't portrays your figure or makes you more attrctive..instead your only attract chi-ko pek...remind you is CHI-KO PEK ok?? do you think i am someone who is 5 years back...who will ask you what happened..and coax you?? i guess you still in the wrong channel..please switch back hor...you had spoilt my day!!! pIssssed off~ i admit..i am the one who really gets affected if anything happens at home..and yet you are the one who always creates things that makes me sad!!! ~~i like you!!!!~~

just before i end this angry blog... again!!! argh.. someone pronounced my name wrongly again!! haiz... so sianz...when sis went interview, the interviewer read my name and ying name (while looking at the application form) my name is zhenjie not 'zhen-ji' or zheng-jie' or worse 'zheng-ji'..or watever..this is also why i hate to go clinic where nurses kept pronouncing it wrongly, somemore infront of other patients..aiyo!! just feel like finding a hole to hide my head...and yeah!!! ying's name read WRONGLY too...hahaha..cos she always mocks and giggle when someone has pronounce it wrongly...her is ying shao yet her name was read as..' ying shoes' ??? silver shoe?? wahaha...

off to revision..i received ur letter...
thanks...i.miss.ur.monkey.face..(hee..hee..)

no.68

2005-09-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

paPa's biRthDaY

guess who's birthday ???

today is papa's birthday...he's so happy!!! and in a very good mood....no grand celebration just a normal cake cutting type...so sis n me went to jp's swensen to bought a cake for pa...know where we celebrate his birthday? at KOPITIAM.... 3 of us treat him eat 'zi cha'..knowing that he's shy that type so sis n me was betting on whether pa wanna bring the cake to cut or he wants to cut at home...hehe..'da dang'!!! he wants...to cut at home -_-" ...haiz...so we quickly had our dinner then went back home to cut the cake...hmm....

see pa's face so cute..still closing his eyes though pa's eyes wasn't that big but confirm he close it..next..after 'happy birthday to u' song, as usual he will always ask the youngest to blow candles together....so it will be...'da dang'!!!

see..see..my little ivan's face..he really 'chao ah gua' he everytime must 'q-koon' then sayang sayang then ok one..very 'ah gua'

see his 'ah gua' bin

after sayang sayang he ok liao..really buay tahan lei...
then swensen's cake really 'solid' damn power lei...people wan to buy cake buy from swensen la..damn good, solid til papa having problem when cutting the cake..haha..cute lo..

never give up ! try again..wahaha

haha..the knife diao on the cake..wahaha..notice his face turn red?

ChIneSe gaRdEn

finally...again..it's another outing for the whole family on tueday...however the gambling queen's role in need so auntie went to play cards wif don't know who...(don't bother) so she didn't go wif us..argh!! it doesn't mean that without her mean no fun!! but i just wan pa to be happy as his birthday falls on today...at first me n ying don't really wish to go cos this year's theme wasn't nice..it's booooorrring..n no cute..cartoons...haiz..but want pa to be happy n sis keep 'po lo so' then off we go to chinese garden..though its booorrrring but we still enjoyed..when we reached there, it wasn't crowdy..no one wants to take photos..then only..when we are going home...haha..

the 4 of us..see ivan sleeping again..aiyo..spoiler..( is there such word?)

the 4 of us smilling happily..see i hate myself..not photogenic nor can smile nicely on pics..yucks!!! and ying was sitting on my leg.. as if i don't feel any pain..

happy 4 of us..too bad sis not in this pic..so du never think of asking people to take for us..

(dreaming again...??) notice a black shadow ? haha not 'ah mui' hor..it's me wahaha..but focus on those lighting n fairies...how i wish i'm one of them so oriental...

again..another ugly pic...next one look better..

sometimes i really wonder must i really take pics in the dark then i look nicer..argh!! really sad la...just like what people always tell me don't worry that you will be rape if you are going home late cos once they see your face they won't want to..(turn off~) unless...they covered ur face..sad la...

revision....
i.miss.u.my.dear.fren...

no.67

2005-09-11T05:37:00.000+08:00

sAtUrDaY niGht @ cluB mOmO

yeah! finali..NO MORE PROJECTS!!!! today, everything was planned at the very last minute..like me n sis went to town..we were watching the sickening dead bored 'zhen qing' then sis asked whether wanna catch a movie so there we go to the town...we reached around 8++ that...argh...i really hate to squeeze with the crowd..but too bad..cos there is contraints so got to take mrt train..there was this fucking idiotic guy who really 'erxin tai lam lua' lo..when the train stopped at orchard, this toopid guy thought that this place a ghost town ar...please lo..sure will have people to get down one wat..don't know what the fuck he 'gan chiong' wif...he kept squeezing and trying to get to the door..yet the train hasn't stop lo...i was angry and pissed off cos he touched my butt twice lo..yucks!! 'erxin' guy ! ! ! ! next after meeting frenz at spinelli again..last min plan...off we go to momo...experience the ambience, loud music, crowd, pretty babes and muscular hunks..one of them was robin leong..woo~ so man~ perhaps, at this moment, im quite into ktv, so such activity..makes me feel so bored..well..i did enjoyed but not that much la... before the lights on..around 2++ we went home le...really bored ar..

after much thinking.. still think that he suits me best haha...never...didn't wan to pray hard on any..but just the same old goal..and same direction..since i have made up my mind and i should be able to take any hard core and any pressure..just see how it goes....

miss.u....

no.66

2005-09-06T05:30:00.000+08:00

3 DayS woRkinG in cOmeX @ sUnTeC

aha~ i was excited..nervous..anxious..looking forward to this job..though it was only 3

days but it was my 1st time working as FLYERER..hehe... Day 1 ...my mood was spoilt by an idiotic, arrogant and disgusting creature!!! when we went into the store to put our bags, she was there too...then just becos we didn't close that door, she starts to say "please close the door whenever you open, cos there are so many people walking in the hall and they might just open and take the things.." well...it is just a common and normal way of saying... but this arrogant creature said these to us in that kind of tone..oh gosh!! she thinks so highly of herself meh?? just becos she is one of the lao jiao there meh..i guess should be l** jiao la...and somemore who asked her to bring LV bag and still afraid of being stolen..but i must admit that she quite pretty.... now i really believe that saying of " No one is perfect" haha..thats why this pretty lady here has a brain full of SHITS!!! then we started to give out flyers.. xinni and yan yan were also there to so-called visit us..haha..at first, i was abit 'pai seh' to give out..as some people don't even bother to take a look on the flyers...haiz..after a few hours, the enthusiasm towards this job has go off...and grumbling started...i started to 'snake' by going to toilet..walking and finding chris..then i realised that wow~ she's more 'tua gong' lo... she 'snake' throughout and even went for dinner before we receive our dinner..hehe..first time in work i'm so slack and 'snake' lei. quite enjoying ... Day 2, something happened in the toilet...i think this was an unforgettable one..shock of my life lei...again..i 'snake' to toilet..n the toilet was really crowded...after my turn i was tidying my hair infront of the mirror, 1st, i heard the sound of flyers dropping onto the floor..next a loud "PONG!" sound..n the moment i turned..a girl was lying flat beside my foot...really scary lo..she fainted right beside my right leg..i bent down shaking her talking to her but no response n still black-out..another gal was helping too.we failed to pull her up...i kept shaking her arm hoping that she could response but...suddenly, something got into my mind..i remembered in tv and newspaper, paramedic always warned not to anyhow move people who had fall or fainted...then so toopid me..just quickly put my hands off her..after a few seconds..i tried to call her again..moving her hair aside trying to look how she was...then i saw her face ...was scratched..bleed..as the floor has those mat to prevent ppl from slipping off...just before the gal, who was helping me, wanted to call ambulance the fainted gal moved and she seems like want to get up so we helped her up...next she gave me another shock by spitting sweet into the basin...whew!! i thought it was her teeth..as she spit..her mouth was bleeding...and underneath her nose, her skin was like dropping r dangling...i could feel that pain....my hands was cold..trembling as well...after that i still offer to bring her back to the hall as she is also one of the flyerer but she rejected my help... i also met a few friends..one of them was peiqi... she was ipod flyerer.. haha.. what a coincidence! i thought the first day i saw her, she was shopping in the food fair ..who knows she is also working there ...hehe... we chat for awhile outside the hall..like nobody's business..the same old way of chatting..those 38 patterns..hahaha..next is the 'snaking' time again!! me n chris went to food fair..walking around..touring inside..then Day 3, the same kind of working attitude but just that having ache in arms..legs..especially my knee caps..haiyo..unbearable pain..grumbling to kq n chris..3 of us..keep disturbing one another by pinching each other's muscle..arms...n joking that when sch starts on mon.. others...n we might noticed that we have one big n one small muscle..in our arms..whaaha...it's pity that i didn't take any photos..so i can't post any..eeEE..all blames to my FATTY...BUBBLY face..so afraid to take any snaps....

searching.for.my.self-esteem..
focus.on.abilities.rather.than.on.vulerabilities...

no.65

2005-08-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

.. sAtuRdaY .. SunDaY .. mOndaY..

SatuRday... i was like rushing all the day...1st..9.00 am doing project in the main library..discuss..do powerpoint slide till 11.30...then rush to fajar for dental appointment...yupppie!! doc said that im able to remove my braces after 3 more visits... yeah!!! longing for this day....but quite weird as in he didnt put back the bracket for me..(the one which dropped out due to eating of popcorn) hehe...next...me, sis n mum went to ah yi's place...as she has just gave birth to a baby gal...after going to ah yi's place, we went to Westmall to watch haha...Finallly...have the time to watch it...haha...scare like siao...still cant scream lei..cos previously, when we watched , i screamed like hell n was warned by sis not to scream this time round....but..i failed...i screamed.... lastly, after the show..shop wif mum at westmall waiting for our own appt time. then.... i meet joey-sis for shopping....hehe...finally..i got the chance to meet her...we went Heeren..though we shopped but the facts is we tok more than shop...perhaps, we have not chat wif each other recently..so tends to tok non-stop when we met each other...hehe...happy!!!! then next destination was...QB bar...we chilled out over there...... got to thanked her ah bang for the drink...after that, sis n friends were also around there..so i joined them til 3 am++.... singing...drinking....aha~so enjoying ~

Sunday... it was baby-sis's birthday...wooo~ she looks gorgeous today...with that hairdo from Storm...and that Sexy and 'in' skirt...wee...u....wee....Pretty lei...really...so envy her...with beautiful features and wonderful figure..if...i were to have...haha...sis n i went to ktv @ 4y...ard 11++ ..st first i thought that i would be left out...but....haha...never!!! she still talk alot to me...we took photos...EEeeee...me looks soooo FAT!!! and UGLY!!! on that photo...i guess..is BEAUTY And UGLY!!! again!! i was being hurt and attack cos people said that i look MORE ROUNDER...SEEMS TO PUT ON WEIGHT... those words are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of my body...the unfortunate me was injuried by these "tiny morsels" EEE...but i do enjoy over there...though it's ktv..but sis n i dare not sing much cos ...at there...so paiseh..mah..so we sang at the end meaning when we sang..many of them have left...hehe...we left ard 4am++ tired~ but enjoying..

Monday...argh!!! i did badly for my Bd presentation...shivering and trembling in my presentation....YUCKS!!! Fucking sad that i didnt do well...cos i did practiced infront of the mirror but i still can't get over that phobia of stage right and tongue-tied..EEEeeee...hate it la.....after 2 years of practices still like that...quite sad lo....hope i will do better in future...

i was abit disappointed..when i know that i treat A as one of my buddies yet from A's mouth i knew that i wasn't that important as how A to me..what a devastating feeling....i know there is one saying that "Don't expect any return when you treat someone good" well..i didn't! just that i'm feeling down cos its hurt...its that kind of pain which i had suffered in the friendship of marie and brenda... eversince, such incident i dare not to share much of my problems and secrets to any of my friends..but when i met A, A was someone i can share and trust..at times we do have the same views and thoughts that makes me feel like we are one 'clicks' haiz...just wondering when can i find a real buddy or so- called 'zhi ji' ?? just like wat baby-sis said to me...sometimes in my life you may not even find one...haiz.... i don't view such thing as anyone's fault but it was mine instead..perhaps i'm someone who have more bad than good characters that makes me not to taste any of the longest and sweetest friendship...recently, to A's issue, i did tell sis and dose it consider as gossip? or just sharing my feelings with sis? i hope it is not gossip..as i don't think there is anything i despite worse than gossip...it cause undue contention and strife...TRUST is destroyed and FRIENDSHIPS are broken when poisonous contents of such thing leak..anyway..i think i'm going tooo far..hehe..

i received his letter..yeah nothing much was mentioned in that letter..just that he told me how's his feeling? and the rest was replying to my previous letter..knowing that after reading my previous letter..he's feeling much better..that's good...

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:FOR A FRIEND:+:+:+:+:+::+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:

sometimes i know i did neglect you..attitude you..... i know u will be reading this..so i would like to use this chance to say this to you...sometimes some thing are hard to express it out..but appreciating others without telling them is like winking at someone in the dark....i am glad that despite of those bad points i have...i still deserve your care and concern...im really touched by you when i received your message before test, those encouragement and supportive words from you...THANKS for being my listener and THANKS for being there when i need you !!! just like what we said..one can't really totally understand the other one's feelings...but i do believe that even if i can't understand your feeling i will still be there whenever you need me....

be happy~
missing.u....

no.64

2005-08-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

....mOOOoooDy....

haiz....y ??? WHY??? why didtn i receive his letter?? is he getting sick of me??? joey sis said that she told him that i was busy with my project thats y i didn't see him on sunday..i was wondering was he the one who asked? or sis was the one who told him ( he wasn't seems to care or bother to ask).......sometimes...i really really wonder wat's going to happen to me next? n wat will the world beccome ten years down the road.?? everything that is bad n 'suay' seem to have the fate with me... am i such a fucking 'suay bong'? why must i experience such thing where i am born to be such a emotional gal.... i really HATE it!!! those emotional 'things' had tortured me enough!! ENOUGH! just like yesterday...i had tried so hard not to think about the past..yet ....yesterday show...the show had brought me back to the past...that unforgetable nightmare... when i watch it i cried along with it..i had totally describe my feeling...n thats wat i feel...for the past 2 years..it had haunt me every now n then...in other ppl's eyes i may be such a WEAKLING...COWARD.. i don't care cos such ppl have no rights to comment about me! n they won't understand the feeling or things i had experience...

yes..i such a 'suay bong' who born in such broken family...a BROKEN family that brings me sadness... always had problems...mum's that side...wat makes her sad will gradually affect me...the moment i see her, i will feel that kind of sadness she had..n that kind of pain she's suffering....that kind of exasperation she had.....argh!!! n whenever i was chatting wif her on the phone i could sense that kind of loneliness she felt..i guess she knows that i was crying..even though i tried so hard to disguise it... n on dad's side...haiz...linking wif mum...i feel so bad when i was wif mum....he was being betrayed by me...n at times i need his help but it is just that i have no courage to approach him.....BUT... BUT...besides living in such a broken family...i am glad that i found one word 'happiness' in here...i glad that i have many supporters in this family.... besides friends, mum is my great listener, she is the one who told and taught me alot lots of things and dad who is sooo 'open' than all my uncle.., he is someone who don't discourage me..n always look after all of us( sis, me, ying n ivan) secretly....n still want to pretend..hehe....great daddy!!! next...sis...this stupid n funny sis...the dead drunkard..who i asked her where she put the cigarette..n keeping telling me..what 'Fat Ass' n 'January..' guess she is very drunk after tonight's dinner...haha...me still ok..here...just abit 'high' ..haha...still able to blog...she ar..can be gd at times..can be devil when she blows her top..hehe...meimei n didi, this little two naughty ar...can make ppl angry like 'siao' n can make ppl laugh like mad...haiyo....so to comfort myself.. ialways tell myself...."i am okay...i have found all these happpiness in my life... family..." but human nature...ppl will never get satisfy one...will keep grumble...nagging...just like me...there are tons n tons of "how i wish"..."what if"..."maybe"... in my mind...i noticed that the young ones are getting married earlier n earlier while the old ones can say thing like DIVORCE!! Oh Yo!!! don't they know such words really hurts...i can't make any change to these...but what i know is..it adds on more phobia n negative views towards marriage,...no longer any FOREVER..nor EVERLASTING...!! all are BULLSHITS!!!!! im really tired tired..just like what chris said perhaps we r just tooo tired taht leads us to think of those unhappy things...n memories....haiz...

tired!!!!~

u.hurt.me.....

no.63

2005-08-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

...sUndAy...

finally it has come to an end of another week...counting down of everyday makes me feel so excited as i have always been waiting n hoping for the arrival of 2006 ... while, on the other hand, it means that all my on hand projects are going to due soon....headache man~ BURN! Burn! burn! all projects had burn away all my weekends!!! no shopping...no entertainment...no clubbing activities anymore.... whew~ we have just finished our gbe project yesterday...haha.. i make full use of yesterday by trying to shop after combining the project at chris's home. chris shop with me at tiong bahru shopping centre...guess where we shop? haha...NTUC FAIRPRICE!!! haha.. that was the place i suggested to go...i bought big big chicken sausage that ah koh had recommended me...and also beancurd--> my favorites... knowing that it wasn't my shopping mood for that day, my mood was totally SPOILT!!!! so angry...for no reason i was being attitude by my fren...thats make me so pissed off~ i didn't shop much...

again!!!! i didn't receive his letter... empty mail-box...disappointment....somemore i chose not to visit him today... luckily..no emotional outburst...

below are messages that how i wish i am able to tell him...

"there are times when i can't decide whether to see you or not, i want to see you because i miss you but there are times when i don't want to see you because everytime i do, the fact that you don't see me the way i see you, hurts me even more...if i can, i will forget the times you walked by, forget the times you've made me cry, forget the times you held my hand and forget all the sweet thingstaht you had done for me..i know i can no longer pretend, i have to remember now that You're Just A Friend. i often feel this pain which never will you know because it is caused by the absence of you and what hurt me most, is knowing that i once had you and then lost you... never will i regret loving you because even if you didn't love me anymore, i know that you once did and that is the most wonderful feeling because i never thought that i deserved your love..."

missing.u.badly~

no.62

2005-08-18T17:28:00.000+08:00

...tHurSdaY...

rainy day..a weather that is not warm nor humid..most importantly, best for SLEEPING!!!! just imagine lying on a soft queen size bed..under a cosy quilt cover..woo~thats my toopid fat hope for now!!! having a test on tomorrow..argh! how to sleep, only to imagine lor.....it has been raining since yesterday late night around 4am...how i know? cos i was burning lamp oil for my GBE project...what a 'challenging' task-writing report on malaysia political and legal system....somemore this was only part of it...while others doing financial..economics..blah..blah...while doing this task, i received a call from A and we chat for about 15 to 20 mins but because i was focusing on the project...so for the 1st 5 mins, i was doing the talking n the rest was him...so bad of me...cos i think i didn't pay much attention to what he said so we end the conversation...

.......Unlucky??.... fUnnY??.......SuRpRisE??....CluMpSY??................

on tuesday...so clumpsy daphne..clumpsy 'da fen ni' or 'da ben xiang' thats what my fren, A used to call me.... y??? eating popcorn on and off for donkey years... yet for this toopid day while surfing the net...i heard a 'crack' noise..i thought i bite on the seed...n it was stucked in between my teeth and wire..being clever..i kept using my tongue trying to get that seed out..trying so hard to get that toopid till my tongue was like cramping then i 'si xin'...went to the mirror then i realised that it was my bracket..it dropped off..but was hanging on my wire..swirling n swirling when i used my tongue..hehe...so unlucky...but funny lo..it came off after almost half a year...haiz...i have to wait till next week to put it on..cos doc's not in this week...

.......................................................................................................................................................................

just got a storybook from library for myself , recommended by kq....don't think i have the time to read. exams coming soon...there is so much thing to do..revision la...projects la...watching t.v la...sleeping la..just join the job at bugis hoping that we can get the job then this coming holiday in oct..wont be so bored n no $$$ to go out...cos i want to go ktv...sing sing sing~by the way...kq has motivated me to be a tutor of pri sch kids...CONGRATULATION!!! kq has become a tutor...teacher...of a pri 3 kid...so cute...interesting...should i go???

hands off the keyboard~ going to study for RET test...

missing.u.like.crazy~~~~~~~

no.61

2005-08-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

..tuEsdAy..

haiyo...don't know what a day man ! during break-time..our usual hang-out was crowded with people so we went to foodcourt....n it was also crowded..argh! that makes us walked all the way foodcourt4- no place too... and to foodcourt 5. blurping ~chris wanted to buy contact lens for her D & D today..just becos she was playing the role of rabbit? dwarf? chang-e? haha...well..today since the first lesson of the day, she was so 'high' till the day ends..haha...but such a sotong gal like her ar...don't even know that the one in foodcourt 3 is CO-OP not OPTICAL la... sotong!!!! i didn't blame her cos i offered to walk with her...hehe...

bread and soymilk was my lunch for today....after eating, we walked back to school...chris said want to slap me..so i dare her..and there she slap on my face..gentle one....and i wanted to slap her back..n both of us started to go mad...chasing each other from foodcourt 5 till our block...just pretending i was chasing her ( i was running on the same spot), chris ran like... haha..so exciting ..flashing back on those childhood... and EVIL chris hiding at the corner quietly, actually i was thinking that there is a possibility that she might be hiding...to my surprise, she was squatting down at the corner....damn shocking..and my ugly reaction was seen by the 5 of them...EEEeeee...damn 'ma-lu'....haha..it really de-stressed my day..whew!!! ..'man-zhu'..'man-zhu'..'man-zhu'........

recently, i didn't receive his letter...y? angry with me? busy? tired ? sick of writing to me? am i thinking too much? haiz... kind of disappointing man~since 25th july, the last letter i received from him...i was hoping and looking forward upon receiving his letter...but....everyday my mailbox was empty!!! haiz....

hope to see 'your' letter in my mailbox...

no.60

2005-08-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

...sUnDaY...

finally...updating 'cum' changing of blogskin liao....recently...damn tired...over those stupid projects..i really hate it !!!!!! please~ can let us have a short break or rather let me catch a breath can??? eveything in one shot just come...like that still expect us to produce good result and efforts....we people are 'you qi, wu li', well..perhaps, i am the weakest, but i am sure most of my friends felt this way. just like chris and kq, both are stressing don't know like what...especially, chris...as i said, gal..u r not alone...don't worry...take it easy ar...

argh~felt so sad for derrick-he got kicked out of superstar...somemore if want to kick him in the first place, just kick lah...y must they give people a chance then next moment take away all his hopes...toopid!!!

hahaha..my two noisy sisters kept making noises on my bloster...oh please lah...does it really smell that bad? hehe...i thought i was the scent that everyone has it lor.....somemore if the smell really smells that bad, it was because i have been using it for long liao loh....stop grumbling hor...i am sure jiejie, urs, also don't smell that great ok...hehehe..so please please stop it....

yesterday, ah ma just brought dylan's(my cousin) wedding photo to show me...wah..wooo....again...(day-dreaming) always feel so good and nice when i attended wedding dinner..UuuhhhUUuu~ haha...love the feeling and the ambience...but one thing very very 'funny' was the wedding photo had no pics of mine n jiejie...know why? cos both of us..were busy walking over to gu-gu's table to 'yam-seng' lah...'yum-seng' till miss out photo taking..argh~ abit 'pek-chek'...actually..i thought that the restaurant was abit not well-organised..there were no entertainments like teasing the bride and groom de... somemore the MC was like dead-dead de..cant really bring out the joy...cant even shout 'yam-seng' in those solid solid de...'ma-chiam' like 'ah gua' lei...ah fen joined our table...the table was also not organised properly, we were very far away from our drinking kakis (gu-gu) haiz...that makes us miSS OUT that PHOTO TAKING... haiyo..such a pity~

next, what's so coincidence was...i was ah koh's god-bro in my cousin's wedding!!!!! he was my cousin's army friends.. maybe it doesn't seem to be a big deal...but i really feel that long ago before friendster starts, i alreday got my own link le...M was his buddy's ex..his ah-ma and ah-gong was staying in the same kampong with my ah-gong..blah..blah..blah...now..dad was his dad's.....haiyo....back to the subject, gossiping n sharing wif jiejie n ah fen that the wedding was abit boring as no entertainment. we also make promises to each other that, next time whoever gets married..anyone of us shall make things like powerpoint slides that shows photos of the bride n groom from ugliest to pretty n handsome.throughout the dinners....hehehe..however just before the dinner ends, we kept 'ta' beer..red wine...all kinds of drinks wif gu-gu they all...and despite of everyone looking at us..'ma-chiam' like 'siao cha bo', we still 'bo chap' ...fun n exciting..that draws everyone 's attention...also draw the crowd of guys ( cousin's frenz)...they challenged us by standing at their table want to challenge us to drink..haha..then gu-gu said 'mai lau kui' then all my gu-gu n cousins challenged back...n this makes the crowd came down to our table....haha..that brought more beers and martell to challenge us..after several 'yam-seng'.....we stopped n ended it..haha..that was the highlight for that dinner..i thought...after that, they still asked us to devil's bar...but no one goes....hehe..as it was the biggest celebration for my family in this recent years and also cousin was our eldest grandson of our family so all of us till now still kept repeating these happy moments...

-me and ah fen @ the wedding dinner-

no.59

2005-08-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

sad news...fRidAy...get well soon

today supposely be, the same as normal school days,laughters...jokes...craps...nonsenses....morning still attending wp @ 8am...though i was sooo tired..drag get out of my cosy bed...happily enjoying the lesson cos first time so attentive in class...understanding the whole lesson n following it throughout...but..of cos, there is still craps in between..joking around with 'ah-mui' thingy...haha...somemore after consulting teacher regarding our webpage, knowing that im on the right tracks really wooah~ after the lesson..is the time for kq n me's heart-to-heart talk..every fri, we will share our secrets n chit-chat on almost everything at that pathetic 1 hour break....then joining chris they all in ret lecture..n removing all the stuffs from our notice board...joking again in veronica 's room...n just a split of seconds...EVERYTHING CHANGE.....our mood switch 'mono' kind de... dim..sad...dora broke the news to us...my fren..the first fren i get to know her in poly...met accident yesterday...the whole day i feel sooo uncomfortable...well..please note that: i WASNT one of those fakers!!! i still remember i get to know her in year 1 when we were doing those charity for school, if i'm not wrong is president's charity...that day she was my partner...we know each other n chat a lot on that day, it seems like we had known each other for many years..that day we chose our destination at holland 'v' n it was raining heavily after we had our lunch..so we intend to 'slack' in the foodcourt. while sitting n slacking we share everything...on dieting..relationship..family...school...friends..when i was in deep shit she was the one who will comfort me cos both of us are 'night-owl' so tends to call her in late hours n we will also plan to wear similar clothes to sch...skipping lesson n meet to sch....i really believe in fate...thats y i met her....n in one of the v'day i still saw her in ms cinema...both of us were in the same theatre n watching the same movie..and i noticed when i met her in the toilet after the movie. however after several months becos of those stupidity projects causes our friendship to turn sour...n also she had hurt one of my gd friend in a relationship...she was unsure of wat she wants n i did reprimanded her on this issue..i couldn't bear to see my fren so-called torture in such relationship after that... we were not that close anymore..each of us have our own fence to defend n protect....i thought it is just a matter of time...thinking that after some time the gap between us will close up sooner or later...but things didn't turn out to be wat i had expected...trying to save this friendship i even asked her to join my dental clinic's outing at west coast park...she didnt reject me n we went together....enjoyed flying kite...then to year 2 when she gets to know more friends..of cos, she will have the freedom to make new friends...but this once again pull us further away from each other...not even chit-chat on phone nor sitting down in the same table during break time...finally..i gave up...thinking that perhaps we are just high-bye friends...having this thinking for almost 1 years ++.. till today then i realised her good, n im such a failure in being a friend....really shame of me !!!! having that thinking..i made a big mistake... i didnt really care about her anymore..didnt even bother to return her missed call...n...u know gals loves gossips so when ppl talk bad about her i didnt even bother to speak up for her..instead, some time i still make fun out of it...especially today, i feel so bad really.when hearing that news..i knew i gonna cried so i chose not to go home first instead i went orchard with kq..chris..hs.x..n..y..actually we wanted to visit her but teacher suggested that it's better if we go on next week n heard from my other friend said that she's too weak to talk but still wants to talk so i think better not..let her rest first.... at this moment...i still feeling upset..y everytime i will start to treasure thing only when something had happened...am i someone with such lousy characters?..not fit to be a friend?..i know no point saying this ...i can't change anything but i know i can try to change my view towards her...n never get myself involve in any gossips that got to do with her...i really hope that u will get well lim jing......promise that i will not repeat that mistake n will be by ur side whenever u need a friend....

get well soon!!!~ lim jing~

no.58

2005-08-03T01:09:00.000+08:00

.....tUesDaY....

recently im really down in luck...everything doesnt goes well for me....-family wise-....mum wasn't having a good life...can be describe as now she is being mentally torture..really hate that 'beast'....watever he used to promise mum, he didnt abide it...idiotic...there are still lots of things that really hard for me to accept n as well as say it here....what i can say is mum is suffering now n i really really don wish to see that...she will try to act strong n pretend nothing infront of us but i know n i can sense that she's really upset....i know i can't do anything but being a daughter really grief-stricken to see her suffering....-him-we r best friends now...we tok everything out nicely n feel that at this moment JUST BE FRIEND! sad? of cos..i am...and the moment i read his letter i pour like 'thunder storm', perhaps i really mistaken some things....anyway, after a long n cold bath, i really widen my thoughts le...i feel that sometimes love can't be force...just let's nature takes its course..n right now i can say i don't believe in love....n don't really looking for it nor waiting...so much things had happened that causes me to have phobia n lose trust in it....-friends- so happy..that i got a friend who always stand by me....(guess u know who u are)she makes me 'double-confirm' that she's really one who i can rely n trust most...haha..(mushy)...regarding the incident today...i thought i was the only one who will be piss off as that 'sarcastic sentence' is directly referring to me yet she was also angry...hey thanks * a pat on ur shoulder* good buddy lei... still remember not long ago we went for 'singathon' that last for 8 hours...hehe..those actions we did together n those small little topics we discuss really makes our friendship stronger n also draws us nearer..thanks really appreciate u a lot....remember if u have any problems, i will always be there for u...n as for the incident...im really disappointed..though it might be just a simple comment but hey!...will anyone says such things to a friend who u always be with? gossips i can accept but its sounds more like a backstab...

nowadays...eating bread is a trend for our click..haha....almost of us eat bread, moreover, we made those bread...haha..kq n me decide to make extra for each other n we will exchange...firstly, we will get to enjoy each other's..secondly, we can save $$$.... haha..tml im going to make egg sandwich...

a.phrase.for.myself.-be.happy!!!

no.57

2005-07-19T13:06:00.000+08:00

....tuEsdAy....saD...diSappOinting..

ah koh's birthday..happy birthday..to.u...

wa...kaoz....finalli...i quit my job..after considering for so long...that attitude doc agreed without asking me WHY?...so angry-always give me attitude n never want to tell me wats wrong n teach me the way he wants me to work...+ disappointing-he dont even bother to ask me why i want to quit or wats the reason behind...shit him!!! + sad-why till now still dont appreciate what i have done....... really hate to see his face..his facial expression...(the moment he agreed to let me quit)...never will i forget that idiotic cocky face....he's so terrible lo....sis,pa,ma...all agree that i should quit..n as for me...of cos i do wat they have said..but without regrets ok!! i dont mind if the job is too stressful...cos i believe most of the job are stressful..even toilet cleaner...hahaha~they have to worry n stress about cleaning all the dirty cubicles....hahaha~back to the topic, watever job it is, most importantly is u must ENJOY working n feel HAPPY rite? for wat...i have to travel for 2 hrs all the way from jurong..n sometimes...when its late he didnt have the 'pig brain' to think that i have school...then lets end the day early...whew~ vent...vent...vent..everything out liao...feeling better....still remember while on my way home..A call me..here goes my machine gun.....shoot out everywhere..until .i almost vent everything out at him.....but...pausing for a few sec...realising that i shouldnt do that..so i ended conversation n i walked very fast all the way from lakeside to home....wahaha..'ma-chiam' like 100m run lei...but let me share with u...walking in that speed really ease my anger...n frustration...

satUrday...haha...retail reality challenge..me,hs,x n y selling mineral drink n potato chips at ang mo kio...wa seh....damn far from jurong lo....wearing sis's creation-that t-shirt she does for my grp...really eye catching lo...when we put on the t-shirt..the media was shooting n taking our pics...hahaha..being that ~'photogenic'~ i really hate that-camera...toopid lo...looks so 'er xin' still took more pics at amk 7-11...that manager requested liao then another oso....haiyo....i want to say....it's a great experience..n nice competition to participate...asking all frenz to support me...n it is also my 1st time seeing y shout so loud.." lai la....auntie..yi ge ba mao qian ar...bang wo men la.." wah...she really hahahaha...power lei....Ultimate....yeah!

sUnDaY..visit ah koh..hahaha...to my surprise..he still remember my hp no...hahahahahaha,...hapi wor~wee..u...wee...but on this visit...all the emotional feeling is back..... everything..rain badly at night after visiting him..im so worried to his words-telling me that i have to do some preparation n needs me to think properly....wats that? im so worried n i know i wont feel better until i received his letter...hope to receive his letter...today 19-july..ah koh's birthday...bad mood...cant celebrate for him...wat i can do is only...making greeting cards..haiz... "happy..birthday..to....u......though u cant see this greeting but i hope u will feel it, the moment i post this up..."no matter wat u will write in this coming letter..my decision still remain....

missing.u.ah.koh..happy.birthday..to.u...

no.56

2005-07-03T09:09:00.000+08:00

..sUndaY..

i didnt work today...not becos i dont have to..but i dont want....nw having that kind oof phobia to work..i dont know why, what's going on?? so sad....although this two words is what i always love to say but this time i mean it....what will u feel if the things u do..people dont appreciate? n what will u do? disappointed? angry? frustrated? im so stresssed with my work...on fri night, my boss keep giving me that 'pek chek' noises that he made... really disappointing..cant he give me some time to adapt his ways of working? ever since he came i tried to work more by committing one more days but so far sch projects dont allow me to do so.... n other part timers are better cos they work everyday for the past 2 months...these made me far behind them...new boss use names for all the equipments while the old one used code number..this made a big difference...at this moment..i seldom joined papa's drinking session,that day so stressed still i called n asked him for a drink, i knew that he sensed something n kept asking what happen..., im in a dilemma....should i stay or is time for me to change job? if i quit, does it shows that i cant take such things n how am i able to cope it if i really go out to work?

yesterday, went out with KQ to do RM project..i should say shopping more than doing project..sorry to make her wait..we went to mango sales..hahaha....behaving like typical singaporean...rummage for nice clothings..haha..then we went to yoshinoya..jap restaurant!!! which i dont patronise...aha~ did the weird thing again...(i dont know i should consider it as bad habit or weird behaviour? ) i told KQ i want to order jelly n milo but ended up i ordered a soya milk n a chawanmushi..we sat down n do chat alot....after that, we went to chinatown to buy perfume...hehe..i bought annui sui secret wish perfume...sweet smelling.. so elegant..(i meant the bottle)...haha...being silly, i sprayed boss-element perfume on the piece of paper n accidentially sprayed it on KQ ..i told her that was the perfume that ah koh used n then i put the piece of paper into my hp pouch.i keep telling her i feel the presence of ah koh..haha..n she blamed me spraying on her...like that then got 'nan ren wei' rite KQ? after that we shop again...then my hp rang n naughty KQ teased me by saying dont drop ah koh out of my pouch..then..we bought some snacks home...in the station, i did something funny n 'malu' again...i insert my Ez-link card into the ATM side..hahaha..cos the machine is opposite from lakeside...hahaha..KQ started to giggle n laugh...n in the train oso.....well...i enjoyed so much..i told her since year 2 joining a new class n new sch as well..i changed from bad to better...i didnt use vulgarities (in talking)...n more 'refine' now....reali hapi.....'man zhu...man zhu.. man zhu...'

miss ah koh..waiting for ur letter...happy~

no.55

2005-06-29T12:29:00.000+08:00

...wEdnEsdAy...

sometimes things r hard to predict...just like...not long ago, i told my frenz that so good to work wif new dentist..he's someone likes to joke and by reading his name u will surely guess how funny is he...Dr.Bruce Lee..wahaha..funny rite? besides that i also feel comfortable working wif him...he likes to mix his English with Hokkien...(that's what i like about him..giving me no stress..)...typical singaporean ma.....of cos...loves to speak wif "lei..lor....ar....mah..."wahaha...unfortunately...true colours came out..he's not that perfect...he's impatient...or should i said he's not understanding enough...all the long, i was working wif Dr.Yeong..of cos i used to the style or the way...yet now...using the old style on new dentist..being impatient..he will make those noise...like so 'pek chek' kaoz....he made me feel so demoralised...like so useless...sis said that im so useless..must talk back to him..but to me...working is like that one wat..got to see ur boss's face, bear wif everything....

despite of stressing on projects' deadline...we seem to enjoy a lot.....cos....recently...my 'click' of frenz..all of them, have funny nicks...it's a long story of how we got them..some got by D.H..GBE lecturer..hahaha..KQ=lychee, HS=wee san, Y*2=yang yang, X=zinni, Chris=' pu toh sua' (a kind of rambutan)(gt it from hweeee san)wahahah...n me= definitely..(so different from daphne rite?)hahahhaha....especially...zzzzzinni...love to disturb her calling that..cos she would say 'shut up lah..'..nowaday...we keep laughing..and teasing each other's nick..like nobody's biz..hehe..like today, i was teasing weee san cos she kept saying lychee(KQ)..then i asked her"weee...san..gt 'bang ka' (mosquito bite) ar??" then instead of that, i suggest taht her nick changed to 'bang ka' (jackfruit)...whaahaha...

finally..drop the idea of dropping out...well..with the encouragement and support..i shall continue and graduate as diploma grad..hehe...i guess this time round i will get scolding from ah koh...(after he read the letter)...haiz...no letters from him...sometimes how i wish he's by my side...at least he's someone i can rely on..want..a pillar to support me...going to break down soon..if mum's problem keep on accumulating....

hang on frenz!!!...we will get over soon....looking forward to 1 week break..yuppie!!!

miss.u.badly...

no.54

2005-06-22T00:36:00.000+08:00

tuEsdaY

kaoz....people keep saying im fat!!! y cant they just like a small no. of people who never stop encouraging me lei..my sis..auntie...sis..n mama..told me that myu face wasnt that 'swollen' liao....like my papa...so touching when i heard his conversation with my uncle...he said this when my uncle said " hey.. u grown fatter right...? " stop saying that... u peoplekeep saying she fat til she dont want to eat..u know??" hahaha...this is what my papa said...wa...im so touched by his words...i didnt know that he's so caring lo....so bad of me...still say that he's biased...dont care about me...(so guilty...)

recently...i quite happy...cos of ah koh's letter...his words...promises...wahahaha...at last my effort didnt paid off...and the other reason is...i enjoyed being wif my frenz....sounds mushy ba...my fyp i was grouped with MH...so gd...though fyp was stressed but at least we are still able to group together...hehe...next is my 'click' of frenz...it is also so happen that we took a pic of us...took it becos of one module...so silly of me...when i looked at the photo..i realised something..hahaha..the combination of us...makes a perfect gal out...here it goes...C has a nice smile and dimple...YY has a silky hair...X has a nice and soft voice...HS has what gal longing for..thats...hahaha...gd for wearing bikini..thats complexion...KQ has a big round eyes...n me...bhb abit...got the height..ba...sum of 6 gals is quite perfect la...hahaha...

today...surprisingly..that..one of my classmates..took the initiative to tok to me...when i was toking to LJ..well...quite happy...knowing that she's not that dao....hahaha....i shall stop here...

6 of us...YY..KQ..C...X...me...HS

just came back from malaysia-genting...haha..skipped class..and went for holiday...hehe..gt the licence from papa n he was the one who helped me with excuses for skipping lesson..surprise? haha...i didnt went to outdoor theme park to play instead i do shopping but too bad..nothing to shop..so enjoy singing 'k' and drinking in the pub with sis..haha...on the last day...i sneaked into casino with my aunt..haha..enjoying playing jackpot...but me..being the 'mountain tortoise' i asked so loud.."where to change tokens ar?" haha..so paiseh...here are some photos i took...n this time round i love every pics that i took...

sis n me at the 'la-mian' stall...i love this pic sooo much

me being a vainpot...

sis n me-after checking-in

missing.u.badly...

no.53

2005-06-10T09:43:00.000+08:00

....fRidaY....

wahahaha....updating...5...4.....3....2.....1.....finally we had finished our itp le...noe wat i m angry wif my supervisor..wat YOKE YIN??...wtf....she's damn attitude...'er xin' lo... thats y i seldom tok to her one...then in my overall comment..my manager wrote that..."can be better if i can established a better communication with the operating staff.."kaoz....my manager seldom hang around in the sale floor one...how he knows i didnt communicate well with the staff??? and pls lo...i communicate well with everyone EXCEPT..her lo...frenz in the same dept as me...got the sweetest comments..watever...just grade watever they like lo...anyway...i don reali care...it's over....yeah!!!!...

well...after itp...as usual...im still working in the same dental clinic..but wif new bosses....feel sad..cos knowing that though new bosses are good to work with..but it's just the starting only...true colours??? new bosses doesn't pay us well...as in we got no more commission liao...now still yet to be confirmed..(under negotiation) ...another i want to share is...im...so.....happy...cos me...and...ah koh.........wahahahaha........

going to start classes..hand off~i miss him.......

no.52

2005-04-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

tUeSdaY

yeah!! yippee ya ya yippee yipee ya...last paper on thurs....wee..u...weee.....finally!!! everyone is waiting for the arrival of thurs....ccvm paper...that so called 'er xin' paper....yucks!!! then i will be celebrating sis's 21st birthday at chervon chalet...hahaha...meaning that is the last paper for exams and i can vent everything out...cry!!! drink!!!yes i have been waiting for this day....take note! im not a drunkard !!! is just that i need to numb myself.....seriously...im not happy this month...Y??? alot of 'y' & 'y' in my head....y it is soooo unfair....i received his letter for this month...im being affected....totally affected!!!! haiz...wondering when can i blog something that im happy again??? well....its the fact...just accepted it la..

doc had sold his clinic....but he will be going off in this july...haiz...maybe going to lose job liao....and going to work for Robinson for the 6 weeks...no holidays!!! haiz...

sign off~ going to help out in clinic...

no.51

2005-04-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

tuEsdaY

wat am i doing??? tml exams...i still can blog now...oh...my..god..!!! i just that tooOOOoo stressSSs help me please....i had the habit of writing diary...so even if i didnt blog i still write in my diary...now....i can be reali that emotional at times...meaning...i want to cry i can cry at anytime...i want to vent everything out...but i cant....no more kids anymore...i cant just be that way....i feel really sad....down...depressed.....i hate everything...no one can help me.....plus exams stresss...reali....=...( i know im just avoiding.... but i just love to be that way...avoid so i wont feel that bad n at the same time i can concentrate on exams....no letter!!!! no news frm 'him' meaning wat???? i know he must be feeling down n 10 times feeling bad as anyone else....i know the result or answer isnt out yet..so try not to be that pessimistic...but its already april....still no letter.....haiz....argh!!!! really =( wat else can we do or can i do...???? no one understands how i feel....everyone is sick of my stories and tales...but deep in my heart i have the biggest secret that i cant tell anyone...i know he oso feel very bad....but i don wish to say that i feel worse than him...i wont want him to know...but beside him no one else will understand.....y??? i hate it!...perhaps people may think that my thinking is not that mature yet....but i can say i experience more than most of the people....haiz...i dont wish to say anymore....

especially...when you are sick...im sure..gals...u would really want someone to care for you..asked you " have you seen a doctor?...have you taken your medicine?....feeling better???" maybe i never born to have this kind of life as i always tell people that i had never taste before long lasting love....really..sick..in mentally ++++physically...no cure ...haiz...so sad that becos of that stupid sickness i didnt turn up joey-sis's birthday.....so sorry...haiz......

sign off~ revising MR...missing you like crazy...

no.50

2005-03-25T12:37:00.000+08:00

gOod fRiDaY

good friday...easter day...hahaha....supposely...going shopping ..going out...yet..im lying on bed...except...now...blogging...haiz...everytime like that....exams is around the corner then i sure fall sick...fever..flu..sore throat...cough...giddy...don know is it exam stress...hahaha...sianz..lo...i was sick on thur..after coming back from school...i feel cold but my body was hot...then who knows...measure my temperature..my temperature was 38...37.2....36...then i thought it was ok...then it rises again in the middle of the night..38.3...haiz...i thought i got dengue fever cos my temperature keep fluctuating ....somemore..monday i want to follow papa go cemetery to pray ah-gong..cos i brought forward monday test..then in the evening still gt TQM test...kaoz...really...jialet...so after struggling through the the test at 8am...i went home to rest and went to see doctor...my temperature was 38.9...i thought i asked doc..am i having dengue fever...then he said that dengue fever will have red spot...whew~ scare me lo...when i reach school at 5pm for the test know what? E bought me a herbal tea...he wanted to pass to me when i walking past him...so bad...i was so gan chiong n paiseh...i quickly...said huh? dont want la...i walk away....this make him really paiseh...bad rite??..so sorry lo.....kanna..suay by C.....n...KQ...

saying about KQ n C...this two best best buddies...gd lo...on tuesday...they hor..scared n frightened me in the toilet...i always the last to come out from the toilet..one...so that day they said they waited for me outside...and i really heard the door was closed and i didnt know that they were still in the toilet lo...C hide in one of the cubicles and KQ hide behind the door...after coming out from toilet..i was combing my hair..and i feel that something was watching me...i feel uneasy then i turned and looked in the mirror reflection...i saw a head sticking out...like sadako...thats KQ la...wah...she made me sCREAMMMMmm like helll!!!!!! C then come out from the cubicle lo...both of them laughing non-stop..bad lo.....u two ar...bad lo.....hahahaha..reali frightened me lei.......

sign off~ going to rest

no.49

2005-03-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

tUesdaY

time to blog again.....kaoz...let me vent out something before i starts..that bitch 'F***" her la...she thinks she's big meh...ya...her two sagging papaya lo...idiotic lo...i helped papa to change his hp...cos he wants true tones..then ying change wif him....after changing i want to tell him then i think he had fallen asleep liao then i want to left a note for him then i didnt close the door mah...just a few sec nia lo...that bitch make noise...she really thinks that she the 'nu zhu ren' shit u la...never think n imagine lo...never will u be replace OK!!!!...argh...spoilt spot....

sunday i visit him...not knowing am i too sensitive??? just like what i told joey-sis i can sense that he wasnt that happy but he tried to make himself appear to be normal..but i really can sense it....i didnt ask him why by writing to him...hope that he will reply me...or...no need since he will be coming out soon...as his chances are quite high...yuppiee!!!!i have read joey-sis's blog..wahahah...ya..im happy when he said that im his 'siao' eh...but knowing that he got no choice mah...anyway im contented liao...seriously.....since the day he said he will be coming out soon...i start to have a very hard time at night...i know everyone says don too much hope...yes..i know..but who dont?? right..???i couldnt sleep at night...my mind keep playing a fool on me...making me feeling soo terrible...haiz...why am i so weak??? weakling...!!! i always think that life is sooo unfair...it will never to fair one...if u r born suay then forever suay lo...if not, u r lucky...haiz...some people r given many many chances yet they don cherish it...and some people...no matter how hard they tried and willing to change le...and they r NOT GIVEN A SINGLE CHANCE.....unfair....im really worried...i dont want to have the same experience and those emotional feelings that i had encountered...in 2003....its terrible...sometimes i wonder if i had the chance to fetch him that day...should i go?? if you r me...will u go??? of cos! i m the most willing one...but i scare he might think that im stressing him or trying to show what??? n if im able to go but i choose not to...i will sure regret..n just like J said...she will be touched if someone do this to her....well...touched is one of them but i don want him to think ......haiz...sianz...well..im very glad that my sis...frenz-KQ..C..J.....joey-sis n baby-sis..all of them keep encouraging me...helping me...especially B-sis..actually i thought we had drfit apart le...yet never lo...she keeps supporting me...and that night at 4y drinking then i know she's still so concern about me...and we really had many things in similar...

this week...quite slag...can relax...n...exams coming liao.....streSSsss again??? hahaha..good luck to all my frenz.....

sign off~ revising TQM..write to ah koh..cheer up man!!

no.48

2005-03-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

SatUrDaY....

wow~im tired...damn shag....just reached home not long ago...from morning till now never get a chance have a break....except in the train n eating dinner wif S...W and his gf_J..and S...let's start in the morning...15 minutes late for work.....luckily...doc didnt scold...n today is a bad day...cos the schedule really damn packed..appointment patient is already that much liao still got....walk-in..call-in...one....whew~ tired...but sometimes having such practice is a good thing as i can test myself...today got a patient_female...she's having toothache...she had decay tooth and one wisdom tooth which had already badly infected and she cant eat...OooouCChhh!!! pain lo...n.....me..alone got to help in the surgery...oh no!!! i had not attend to such things since last year...then now....at first i was quite panicked...cos the new gal had mixed up the instruments.....hahaha...god is on my side....i found that!!! so 'heng' lo...then i started to prep that patient and myself....i thought i couldn't make it...but after 20 minutes..doc started the stitch and me to cut it...and guess what he said???? "good, nice job" wahahaha...happy!!!!!! happy because for so long i didnt get the chance to help in surgery then today just got it and was being praised somemore...wee..u.....wee.....wahahaha...well...move on to evening...finally...meet up with..S...W...J....S.....another gathering .....having dinner together at hot plate restaurant..._bugis...yummy!!!....n...SINFUL...i had taken rice...that CARBOHYDRATES!!!! oh no!!!!!!!! i take abit....no choice cos gathering mah.....bought a mascara from sasa..it wasn't anna sui.... :( this month really broke liao....i had a pathetic pay for february_didnt work that much..cs of projects n test..im broke this month....sad lo...NO SHOPPING...NO NEW CLOTHES.....STILL SO FAT!!!!!! saying about this outing..i damn sad lo...my fren...S..u gd la...'suan' me...i cant use the word_humiliate_cos it wasnt that serious..know what he said?? he said that he 'pang seh' me for awhile and see got guys approach me anot..kaoz...damn bad rite??? trying to 'suan' me....sad lo..i know im that fat n ugly but no need to say till like that rite?? argh~~ angry lo...better don think..wait think till my wrinkles all come out...when people trie sto hurt me or provoke me i will try to be strong or even hack care cos like that they sure....go mad......

sis's birthday coming soon..nono....it wasn't normal party..nor celebration..it's her 21st BIRTHDAY.....funny rite...??? so far 8 people who is going to attend her birthday party..are my frenz...basically..our frenz are the same...maybe mine bigger than hers by only..abit cos i got outside frenz...watever...(out of topic)...im going to make a extra extra 'L' size card for sis...hahaha..writing all the 'bad' n 'good' things about her....and i will hang it at the chalet..once people enters in can read ...hahaha..it may be ugly...but it's something that is very meaningful......!!!joey-sis 's birthday coming soon...but what a coincidence...falls before our 1st paper...haiz....

sign off~ write to ah koh...i mmmiissssssss u~

no.47

2005-03-18T13:08:00.002+08:00

fRidaY

yo..it's friday....so fast...times passes damn fast...know on wednesday...me n KQ went to concourse to get paper bag and gift wrapping for our ccvm project...n....we really get ourselves into a big joke...wahahahaha...now then i know im not the only 'mountain tortoise' hahahaha...we took the WRONGbus given by A...no.147.....to concourse...ended up we dropped off at little india...really scared...wahahah...not familiar n was surrounded by 'ah nei nei'...n worst still...that smell~ coconut oil!!!!! wah!!! really buay tahan....that moment we really thought that we had overshot the bus stop..so we dropped off n decided to across over to go back...after walking for a distance..i told KQ that...it is an ONE way road..oh...shit... KQ very funny lo....she like so scare then grabbed my arms...hahahhaa...then we go to the nearest station...farrer park to board to lavender then to concourse...wahahah...both sotong... reali blur lo....we ended class at 2pm n reached home ard 6++..hahaha...somemore on our way back..KQ still said that she saw the place is juz that we missed that stop..but when we take a look..we realised that there is no bus no.147...hahaha...she ar......really had fun!!!!

no.46

2005-03-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

tuEsDaY

hahaha...so.happy...relieved!!!! whew~ i really enjoyed this few days...sooo...happy...despite of all sickening projects..tests..pathetic..attachment job...hahaha..enjoyed being with my love frenz....KQ...C...J...*thumb up* thanks!!! frenz of dap..reali cheered me up...yeah! tqm presentation finish le...that JY reali so yucks! know what she did to KQ..C..J...n me??? 1st i got to make clear of this...we are not biased we gave each other full marks for peer evaluation except for her...she didnt contributed much..late for combining the project and didnt meet up for project and treat us like fools ok...we kept calling her and giving all sorts of lame excuses!!! LAME lo... she said she was in the toilet when we tried calling her..each of us at least gave her 2 missed calls...hey!!! hello please lah...brush up on ur lies before telling an expert ok!!! don treat me like a 3 years old kid ho bo? u think wat cos u know u got no frenz and by looking at the phone gt missed calls from us..u r able to console urself meh??? well...im not trying to be mean to u...but dont u think u are too much..we didnt discriminate u hor...is u r being too sensitive to think that whole class are against you...never will i said that i tok to u cos i pity u..thats bad!!! but i think that u should change your behaviour...attitude..i also tried to tok to u nicely...but it just dont work....haiz...u had provoked us!!! we give u at least 25/30 and wat u gave us??? 10+++/30 u buay paiseh meh??? we did put in alot of eefort in this project ok....!!! luckily...i can said that teacher is on our side...she don believe u...and wat u told her??? u know it urself....

hahaha...today we enjoyed our presentation...Ouch!!!...i got two blisters on my foot and KQ got it too...so pain..that heels la...haiz...interesting things coming up....during our presentation...can u imagine that JY can said Sorry..sorry....i dont know what she said but i just know that by doing this..everyone will notice ur mistake..nvm...who don make mistake rite...??? wat funny was...before having oour MR test...KQ..J..me...n..C were in FC6 studying and memorising MR ...then...comes the gOsSIPs!!!! who ar? wat?? where?? then??? our topic was on JY...angry wif the peer evaluation marks she gave us n saying about her...n..J suddenly said this that make all of us...laughed n giggled like mad!!! she said that while i was presentating that time...she approached J n asked her something..J thought she wants to ask something important and yet she asked" every morning u got iron ur hair ar???" wahahah~~~~ can u imagine that moment...so nervous yet she can popped out question like that...oh!!!hehe...hahahah...wahahahah!!! happy that the 4 of us really enjoyed this few days..hope that we will continue to enjoy each other's company.....

no.45

2005-03-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

mOndaY

haiz....shit!!! got a warning letter for my ccvm...just as i thought...but i didnt expected it to be so fast...that lindsay thang...aiya...got my attchment job le...is at robinson...with the pathetic pay of $500/mth....eEEEeee..i don like it....but i don think i can appeal...haiz...reali...disappointing...just like wat kq n i think....hahaha..great mind think alike...wahahaha...reali lo...sometime when u don wan something it will turn out to be urs...n when u wanted sooo much ....it never be urs...anyway just a job..take it lor...but hor...haiz...i found something strange...saw my classmates like having cold war...L sit alone....and A and E were together...they quarrel? project conflicts?....i noe L u will read my blog..if u happen to read pls don be offended...and if u r having problems...u can have my ears....cheer up! =P...tml gt MR test yet im still blogging..hahaha...haiz...so sianz...met M in the train..telling me giving tution..to primary school kids..make me sooo interested...aha~ maybe when doc goes to Australia...then i shall....???? miss ah koh again!!!!!

no.44

2005-03-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

tHuRsDaY

yes!!..FMA test over liao!!! yeah!! woo~ my load is lighter now...next is the MR....then TQM...siao liao la...today FMA reali that hard..everyone was saying that this CA is reali....that COGS teacher still says that his tips for the test is to study everything..ya..cher...abit cold lei...another funny but very systematic kind of teacher...(go by book) haiz...hope that MR wont torture me too much...actuali i can say serve me rite...hahaha..cos who asked me to skip lesson then cant cope...anyway..i need 'his' encouragement..!! as usual i had sent him letters...3 for this week....hahaha...

tuesday...i was so shocked that E apologised for last tue of being rude...opps!! didnt know that he got my blog...oh..oh...embarrassing..paiseh.....anyway..i juz turned back to do my things....kq looked at me and looked back too...hehe.....

hey..look at our photos..the role play for HRM project...

hey..who's that??? chris..my rival in role play..acting as kelvin..hahaha...keep smiling...she's really enjoying it...

then wat about this?? hahah KQ-->manager??? what u're looking at??? waiting for me???..hahaha..and Joyce (in white) our narrator...

yeah!! thats me!! look so fat...see my chubby face...so irritating!!! hahaha..that moment i was really nervous...n now then realised my expression was like that..when i get nervous

these 2 shots is for our ccvm project...another one helping SP to promote its perfume..haiz...want to capture a nice one...yet..seems like its far away from there.... but i already tried my best liao le...

signing off~missing ah koh!!!!!......

no.43

2005-03-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

mOndaY~

ya...people always say monday blues..that right...so sianz...today i skipped my lesson...i don even know how many times i have been skipping it..._lost count lo....being a gd gal having breakfast wif my papa...(excuse!) hahaha...after that reach sch ard 11 plus..n start practising our roles ....enjoying being that 'danny' role hahaha...during ccvm J asked me whether i need to rush my portfolio..ya..indeed i want but time don allow..maybe till projects finish..then i start to do bit by bit lo...i don wish to disappoint ah koh...hehehe...just wondering wat he will give that greedy dog....

back to me...why some people never appreciated frenz...why would they think of wat and wat??? sometimes i feel that when i treat this person gd...and this person will take me for granted...never appreciated wat i have done....i noe sometime my attitude is abit bad..why thats human nature wat...so wat...cant they be understanding??? read my frenz's blog..seems like im not being appreciated before...wa...damn sad...y like this...am i that bad....n worse till people who i had neglected..treat me well...care for me...bother to msg me...when i need help...y????? im reali lost at this moment...i don wish to lose frenz.....i need them.......help!!!!! help.....!!!! im too stress wif my life.....

signing off~do tutorial...slp..maybe do revision

no.42

2005-03-06T21:09:00.000+08:00

.....sUndaY....

finally finished my course...wahahha..hope that i had more assignments....juz came back frm town..after dining wif money, jack..and felisee...we had a great time at that restaurant...laughing like mad..giggling all the way....yesterday i was suppose to join my frenz at yew tee for drinking end up decided not to go...but having the urge to drink i asked baby-jie out..to 4y...drink n drink..vent ..vent...everything out...feel that only when i drink then i got the courage to tell ppl my things...hahaha...there is a few times i almost cried out when i was telling bb-jie my things...but trying hard not to..cos i promise i wil be strong!!!! she really understands me well...n she kept saying why didnt i told her earlier....hahaha...really touched by her words yesterday...i even asked her will we continue to be like this if ah koh nv choose me...her reply was so firm and really makes me good...end our session ard 3+++ enjoy that....

hands off keyboard~doing project...revision...slp..zzzZZzz...

no.41

2005-03-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

monday......to....thursday...

had been thinking and wanted to blog from monday till now...cos being tied up by all toopid bo liao projects...!! don noe wat the school doing...so rush...like racing lo...cut our term break liao still rush us in projects and TESTS!!!! somemore, after the test liao...EXAMS will be waiting ahead for us....crazy school....wait me..KQ and Chris yi ba zhang gen ni "slap" xia qu...

..feel that E reali that bad n rude cos i always use to disturb him ma..so on tue, as usual..but he asked me to shut up..wa...abit harsh lei...but today we chat online n i do apologise to him_regarding the project...asked him to stay back ended up not doing it...

feeling better..cos G finally knows what i mean and he will be my loyal supporter instead of....hahaha..thats great lo...after so long....really understands...hehehe..got to tell ah koh this...tml is the face-to-face visit liao..but i wont have the chance to go..nvm..i wont feel that bad cos i have visited him this month...so busy this week so haven't write to him yet..i think it goes the same for him..cos i didnt receive his as well...:(

actually..i know that KQ was angry with me or sort of not hapi cos i think my attitude when i told her tulong n she keep saying wudong...hahaha....then sometimes u may raise ur voice without noticing it...then i realised it when i sensed that things not right and her expression changed..then being soooo paiseh...cant apologise to her_feel weird if i do that...then want to msg her but i may provoke her again if i do that..so pretend nothing happened..n so feeling guilt right now and i know she will be reading it .. SORRY~(my attitude)

yesterday..i noticed that my teeth have some changes cos i saw my cast before i put on braces..reali so ugly and now finally straigten up liao and reali eager to remove it asap...well..quite happy with it..while having mix feeling....i feel so sad for doc..he's going to sell his clinic liao..as he's going to join his wife...so meaning that im losing job...feeling sad for him_saw him uploading his pics into the computer and i just asked him hw's A then he replied fine and started telling me that he missed his kids...haiz..kind of pity him_love ones not by his side....while telling KQ..her feeling was 'u pity him ar..then when he scold u lei' hahaha..still gt frenz that defend for me...*xin fu* hehe...Chris told me she had read my blog..and mentioned that POP thing oh..oh..thought that she might feel bad...angry!!!..or sad~..but to me she react as it's a small matter..whew~ luckily...anyway don get offended la..hehe..i noe u will read til this part one..chris...hahaha...i know u wil disturb me in school when u read it...right?? thanks..to Chris..though sometimes i tends to neglect her but when im feeling down...it's so coincidence that she haven slp n she will comfort me...not forgetting that night..wheni cried so badly...

signing off~ writing to ah koh..studying for CSB...slping

no.40

2005-02-26T16:26:00.000+08:00

eXtrEmeLy FAT!!!!!

ya..i noe...im fat..im ugly....chubby cheeks....plump plump face....flat-chested....flabby arms....wide n broad waist....all i know...yes...i have changed...changed to this state...i just need encouragement!!!! im trying hard ok....reali.... that day tears was flowing down my cheeks while ironing my clothes...this reali shocked jie...yes..im super duper sad...no one encourage me.....yet when i visit him..he said that i appear to be "L" size...thats reali hurts..ah koh...well...he's not bad..or cruel ok..he's just stating the facts...(defensive)....when he tried to consoled regarding my work...tell u..my tears reali feel like dashing out....trying hard to control...i turned away...

hey....celebrating ah koh's dad's birthday..finally gave him the card that ah koh asked me to get on his behalf..hahaha..luckily..uncle didnt feel weird..hahaha...well i can sense that he's happy...just like wat joey-jie had said...after reading joey-jie's blog...abit touched..praising me being sweet...i had rejected to dine in with them...on that day..feeling weird..cos me n ah koh are just frenz..u see...n if now he's my....or if he's not..but with his presence..im still ok wif it...sometimes..im just afraid that he might think im doing all this things for the sake of him coming back to me...neither i wan him to think that he's owing me....NO definitely NO!!! i have never think of that....i treat his familly member like this is because they really treat me very good...treating me like one of their family...in the past or even now ...i can count myself lucky to know all of them.....so nice...

recently..so lazy..so sleepy..soooo tired.....often dose off during lesson..that day i was about to go into my dreamland..chris suddenly..shout "oie" n shaking my hand..not knowing that i shouted back"bu yao wan hor..wo hui angry de..." hahah onli after that kq asked why am i so annoyed then i know..hahaha....i so tied up wif projects...again all those sickening projects...causes us to stress...beside stressing on deadlines...we still stressed wif grouping... grouping?? haha..reali that pathetic..in poly such things still happens....people starts to chose their favourites and left the leftovers to us..whey! they are soooo bad....saying about this that day im reali damn pek chek....havent decide on groupings then people keep asking and starting to get their topic..argh~ n chris keep saying she wants P.O.P...n P.O.P.....n thats the one i don want!!! cos the deadline is just around the corner n we still have two projects no hands....at last me n kq joined other group....

see he's so di di siao siao....
my brother n me...we took this photo (below) in papa's car while we were on our way to bugis to pai pai on chu-san (3rd day of cny) cute bo?? i mean my bro not me lo...hahaha...so vain of us...people like aunties and sis ...papa..everytime said we look alike cos our eyes are differrent from people our eyes are sunken in instead of pop out one...whey! it's unique hor...last time i used to dislike him..i always scolded him..beat him...n as a small kids they tends to be so di di siao siao one..but he's extreme one lo..just looking at the photo above u will know it de rite?..he dared not take a step into my room cos he will confirm kanna it again hahaha..but now...things changed... when he's not at home..i will feel strange and feel like something missing..hahaha..he's reali cute..when papa bring him out..and buy sweets and chocolates for him he will oso buy our shares..there is one time..he took alot of sweets and chocolates and papa asked him not to..he repiled that he's buying for us..1 for da-jie..1 for er-jie and 1 for jie-jie...cute rite?? then when he goes to people house to pai nian he eats the chocolates n it taste nice....guess what he did?? he put alot in his bag n bring it back for us...hahaha...really buay paiseh lei...

no.39

2005-02-16T10:34:00.000+08:00

....self declared holiday...

have i been giving myself too much freedom?? too much stress?? too much??? despite of my attendance i still skip lesson..recently i just feel that sleeping is the most wonderful enjoyment in life..hahaa...just like sleep sleep & sleep Zzzz... reali so lazy..hate to get up of bed..chinese new year is going to be over liao..i feel that such occasions like these is getting.... ?? each year...no mood...no ambience..not like the past years...10 years ago...everyone gets so excited when new year is just around the corner_just wondering what if 10 years down the road no one will be celebrating it??? hahaha.. then i 'tan tio' cos if im married at that time...hahaha..save money_no need to give ang bao to people..hehehe..today i skipped classes again!!! morning lesson i was late..so i didnt want to attend the rest as i have to work at 6...haiz...but..no sesson today!!!yuppie!!! doc is away...yahoo!! browsing through friendster and i saw jo's photo...i reali miss her alot..!!! miss the day we spent together..the way we make through our ways...the encouragement we gave each other...console...secrets...gossips...almost everything...best best buddy..la...reali must try to meet her out some day..stop here...

*i*

**miSs**

****Jo ****

*****mY*****

*******bEsT *******

********BeSt ********

*********buDDy****&****

******("v") ah kOh ("v")**********

no.38

2005-02-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

*reunion dinner*

sis told me something which really makes sense while writing the last blog..about having steamboat wif mates...she said that y must we write something like diary in blog...and something that we don wish other people to know....make sense rite?? but after think n think.(as usual likes to think n think) i don agree wif her..cos is more difficult to say ur things out n besides that if i pulled a long face..frenz..who read my blog may understand...

yesterday..went to mama's place to had reunion dinner wif her...haiz...really upset...y cant we had together on the 30th lei...haiz...but at least we enjoyed before...but ying had never enjoy it before...this makes me think back like most of the kids have enjoyed happy childhood but ying has never..to me..she's stronger than sis n me...n she's independent..never will i see her cry unless sis beats her up...she's mature as whenever im feeling down or crying in my room n she happened to pop by n i will ask her in n poured everything out to her... all her advices n thinkings are really that mature so here as when she is troubled with things she will 'k''k' (hokkien) come into my room n talk to me..but she wont cry like me..haha..recently..i found that things back to normal..cant tok to sis about my problems...perhaps my timing is not rite or maybe i had been repeating the same things for almost 3 years...its just like whenever i tok to her..she just give me the feeling of not going to listen anymore...just like last time..not understanding..being aggressive..but watever it is, i hope im just being too sensitive...

...see n hear no evil... crazy sisters...hahaha...

mama ordered buffet at her place n we went there...but before going there..i went to chervon to paid up chalet booking fee for sis's 21st birthday...n i was feeling bad on my way to mama's place..cos we're not going to tell her about this chalet..as she was not invited to this chalet...bad! bad!bad! but how can we invite her...all our relative will be going too..this really weird if she's going...n damn it!!! i only managed to book for one day n the next day is fully booked so i cant...all goes to sis lo...ask her to book 1st..keep saying that her frenz gt membership n he's going to book for her..ended up... mailto:#$@&(%$#!! haiz.....when i reached mama's place evrything seems to be ok..but after awhile... that basterd quarrelled wif mama..idiotic one. i didnt know wat happen but sis told me that the way he treats mama reali..$##%^%!! then both sis n mama cried..sis told me that she lied to mama that she cried becos she was framed by that basterd but it wasnt...that....haiz...n grandma was oso another..helping outsider somemore...stupid lo...i gt to make clear im not being rude but she's really someone who always stand by mama's side n worse she was someone who always make things worse one....really...sad...y no one let mama has a day peaceful...just let her enjoy her day can?? around 8 nplus..we 'lou yu shen' haiz..hope everything in this new year goes smoothly n happy for her....

after yesterday... i promised myself..i must work hard n earned lots lots of $$$ cos i want give mama a good life..bring her out of that house...sis n me have a childish thinking that if 1 of us get married now then is good at least can fetch her to stay wif us n our husband..hahahaha...mama promised you to give u gd life but u must be strong ok!!! we'll always be by ur side.....

.:mama n me:. do we look alike??

busy....chinese new year....busy

today...so angry haiz...better not angry...that bitch haiz...reali...ar...wanna change everything that mama had bought..1st she changed bed...vaccum cleaner..n other things as well...reali cant stands her...besides that..she thinks that papa prints $$$ issit!!!! everything wants new things..pillows..then...curtains..for bedsheets is ok lo...but i remembered not everything is neceesary to change wat..like that 'pok' liao lo...n she still dares to ask whether we wash our curtains ..just now sis..ying..papa..me...went down to market..they bought new curtain...so i asked papa..y we don have curtains..thats how we gt our new curtains..in the past i used to think that...oh no..she's buying soo many things so we dont buy helped papa to save some..now!!!! no way!!! we must changed too..y she can have wat she wants rite!!! sickening bitch... just couldnt tolerate her f***ing face...makes me wanna puke...especially..like buying pyjamas...papa will buy new pyjamas for us every year...and know what she got for herself??? the most sexiest one...yucks!!! spoilt the pyjamas...yeeee..*puke*

hahaha...ying n me...changed the mat for table n speakers as well..hahahha..know why im laughing...hahah..cos lot of things happened...1st we share the same view of that bitch..n we keep saying about her..n guess my clever mei mei tok back to her when she scold her stupid lo...this sickening bitch lo...f*** her..luckily mei mei is sooo brilliant..hahaha...love u lei...~ EEeee...i noe u gonna sid this when u read my blog rite??..next..is when i clean that display on that speaker i spoilt it..i wiped it too hard liao...then beads came off..n keeps dropping..both of us...wahahhaha..again!!! then is clearing of newspaper..i forget that there is date lo...then i asked her how do i know when wan...then she keeps laughing n giggled...she said my action soo 'tu-tu' n sometimes realli that blurrr...hahaha...she's just that cute..so monkey face dotes on her alot alot..till i jealous lo....

*ying n me...* pretty meimei rite?

signing off...going to help ying pay hp bill liao..

no.37

2005-02-05T18:22:00.000+08:00

*steamboat*

yeah..new year's coming.....gong xi fa cai....hahahaha...since its also the last day of school..so we organised to have our gathering..we planned to have steamboat at marina south...hehee...wah...sooo long didnt eat steamboat...especially..eating wif frenz..feel like eating wif family...sooo cosy...hahaha..actuali it was a gathering for the class...but ended up..onli a gathering for 5 of us...alvin..edwin...kaiqi..chris..n...me..cos..others have things to do..busy for open house..n sick...haiz...after the last lesson..csb..ms tan so gd..let us off early on our way to marina bay..we took photo...*vain*..*blah~*

...chris n me... (taken in train)

we enjoyed eating that steamboat..but the server really that attitude..cooked n cooked...boiled n boiled..after the steamboat..really that full...meet sis..n her frenz at outram..chinatown..hahaha..take photo again...

...3 of us...

on our way home...sooo full after steamboat...

signng off....

no.36

2005-02-05T17:51:00.000+08:00

....surprise...??? coincidence....

hahaha...catch the last train to devils...thats stupid doc still make me stay 1/2 an hour in clinic..lucky i still able to catch the last train...well.. reached devils ard 1am...gt a warm-welcome frm casey...nice hugs..hehe..enjoyed being there..cos i didnt really expect that her frenz are soooo friendly..hahaha...so nice of them...wat's coincidence is...i met my ex-ycs frenz..3 batch older than me...noe wat...in this century liao..still gt those brainless ppl fighting.casey juz walk off for awhile..only..i heard ppl quarrelling..n just before i could walk off..squeeze through that crowd...they gt into fight..i was being pushed..n luckily..there was a guy pulled me out n i was soo scared that they might throw bottles..or wat..thinking that how 'suay' i was..1st time to devils n experience such things....beside that i gt to know peiling..hahahah...surprise...i guess she was surprised too...

no.35

2005-02-02T16:14:00.000+08:00

dRag tO work!!!

really drag to work....so sad...y most of the people enjoyed working in their current job..n yet..im onli the one who hates to work in that clinic...y must his attitude be like this...y he must take me for granted..y he loves to stress me....y he don appreciate what i have done....?????y?y?y? what im feeling right now..was...panic...very scare that he might make things difficult for me again...n who's willing to work for this type of boss...??? y cant i be that firm...chose to leave without feeling bad???haiz...just want to scream out loud!!!!!

my fren's birthday party...@ devils bar

tml is casey's birthday....toking about her..reminding me of the 1st day we got to noe each other as well as 1st time going out wif joey sis..one fine day, a group of frenz meet out for a show in ??? community centre to watch a show about drug n after that they went for a game of billards at west coast recreation centre...but before all these things happened... girl meet the boy at boon lay..the 1st outing after dating..while waiting for cab..a bus no. 204 pass by n one of the passenger whistle to girl n boy was agitated by that...n stared back..suddenly the guy on that bus point out an international sign to boy n provoked boy...boy chased after the bus n girl was panic..n girl finally sense that boy was serious towards this relationship....this is how girl get to noe casey n they often flashback on this incident n making fun..sharing the fear of how boy's reaction was...heehee...

tonight..going to celebrate casey's birthday at devils but before that gt to work at that clinic n rushed back home then rushed to devils...didnt want to disappoint her as i noe she had a hard time in the past few months...what's wrong man~ why guys must treat their girl like that.....no matter what i have to take care of her tonight..don wish to see her drunk n sad...happy birthday casey....!!! hope u will get over this soon...

off to work............=(

no.34

2005-01-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

~today's story~

saying about attendance being sooo poor...wat rubbish...just wan people to agree wif me..hahaha..i skipped morning lecture..n decided to go for that lindsay thang lesson at 1pm...end up leaving home at 12.30pm...just at that moment..met sis at doorstep..telling her i dont feel like going then just that 3 words-->dont go la..<-- i went back to my room...n sleep the whole afternoon...hahaha..never had i enjoyed this type of nap before...ZzzZZzz..but papa wake me up to get dinner for them...i realised that i going to fall sick like that...feel like vomitting n no appettite like that..morning sickness??? hahaha..thinking too much..no bf..wahahaha...i think i got to buck up liao..my result reali makes me to have the determination of revising my modules again..(hope that i wont be say say only)

**hongkong trip**

our class will be organising a trip to hongkong this April most probably...wa~we love that!!! but before we can move on we need a minimum no. of 20 ppl...when toking about this..reali pissed me off...there will always be ppl who love to put up their hand but in fact they r not planning to go at all...toopid lo....let the rest thought that the trip is confirm then end up...now we have to check whether r there 20 ppl then we can go...haiz....angry lo...change topic...

!!!miss monkey face!!!

miss him sooo much..though is just only a few weeks after the last visit..but it seems like a few months to me...especially..during the night..lonely...slient.. without any stars in the dark grey night..haiz....reali...just hope that i will be able to see him on the face-to-face visit....hoping... he told me in his letter that he wished to see me more often cos he this is what he is feeling right now..wat does he mean??watever it is...i'm just contented with all these words...he even say that he would repay me in any way...after reading i replied his letter today but i told him that i wouldnt want him to repay me anything cos watevr i do i didnt expect to get anything in return...n as a suay bong i dont think my efforts will be paid off one day....

me n him

hands off the keyboard..going to bathe n revise liao...

no.33

2005-01-31T11:20:00.000+08:00

"zhong yu"....at last..

hahaha...everyone has been complaining of not updating my blog liao...i guess...even now i write this..no one will notice it..haha..there are qiute a no. of reasons for not writing....if i wrote something in my blog, it could be something sad or happy...but most of the time it is sad thing to share...haiz...think gt to change my pessimistic view liao..since there is a slightly change in my life now...what should i begins with....wahaha..reali damn long didnt write it here...so once i gt the mood, my hands just cant leave that keyboard...ok...1st gt to apologise that to all my dear dear frenz~ sori for disappointing u guys...for not updating it..that time..i was having a hard time..reali...feel soooo breatheless...everything just dont go smoothly for me...though i didnt show it out...but i think qi n chris know it..cos i had been grumbling n the two poor gals gt to console n listen..hahahaha...thanks love u gals... Eeee...mushy ba...thats wat u gals hoping for...wahahah..blah~~...i had a hard time in that clinic..the dentist was reali #@$$$^&!.. he scolded me just like a mad dog...never think of how his employee feel...reali..bad lo....n for sooo long he didnt appreciate me at all...i had thought of quitting it but everytime when i was to tell him his "weird attitude" is here..again...saying what...thanks..for helping today..thanks..have a nice weekend...this reali makes my heart go soft n melt..just cant be that firm...though sis n papa have been telling me..just quit...haiz..this was one of the reason...n next is..family...mama that side nt gd...she's nt having a gd time...that siao chao bo...provokes her again...y that chao bo..always that bo liao wan....feel like smashing her idiotic face lo... but as an outsider what can i do..just feeling that sad for her...n this realli makes me feel very bad n my home that bitch is another one....don deserve ppl to treat her gd...with suck up face...she always just loves to make up stories ..just wonder y she just simply had such a great mind n plus her gd imagination..she can reali come up with great story line...but 'heng' she is not that 'siao' as the previous one i had mentioned....all this things reali makes me go mad!!! n for my own thing..i received his letter..that one was reali that worse...as tears was flowing down my bubbly cheeks..like tap water...on my way home frm m'sia...during nov...i received such news...saying that "just gd fren" heartbroken lo...anyway these things had happened...i should brood over it...

this sem....i enjoyed being with qi..my classmate +++ she is my mama hahaha...she reali there for me when i need her...we had fun when searching for yan yan's present...hahahaha...choosing card frm 'such n card' they gt 2 mad gals laughing inside...n frm NTUC too..wahahaha..didnt reali laugh for damn long liao...laughing in this way.reali ease my sadness.... n the world is reali that small...we had some connection regarding one girl frm juying...hahaha..i think qi u noe who la ar~~...what i can said is suay..hahaha...but at the same time i feel guilty cos i think i neglect chris..if u feel that im sori..chris..

qi n me

.:up loading photo:.

toopid me..still don noe hw to upload photo..asking help frm joey sis...yet still nv show the attitude of learning frm her...aiyo...lazy..me....no wonder getting fatter n fatter..opps!!! i should said is 'hock ki' cos new year is coming....hahahah...cold right....?? recently..my attendance reali..very bad..cos i keep skipping lectures n tutorials...hehehe...gt to buck up...when i see my results i can only said serve me right...-_-' aiya...going to end in a few minutes time..cos going for lesson..as i had skipped FMA..to update this..ahahhaha...ytd..just received monkey face's letter..that was a great one..wahahaha...hope he keep his promise..hahaha...if not..treat him bananas hahaha...

to: bro-->weiboon

how r u??? worried about u...u must take care ok..anything ring me up...

**greetings**

a very happy chinese new year to u guys......

to..monkey face...joey sis..baby sis...(koh's family)

my best pal..sim...kaiqi..chris..minghui...n..all.

2B/o6

no.32

2004-11-10T03:25:00.000+08:00

...rEaLLy tHat bLuE on 7 nov(2nd visit at hm)....

soooo angry wif those people...what are u people doing man~~!!! NO CONNECTION???.....waste our time n make us wait....argh~ causes everyone to have great disappointment that day.....we want compensation man~~~that is.....let 'him' come out for a week...hahaha...(stop dreaming man!!!)haiz...u people waste my time...the day before i just practise on what to say to 'him' n wat to ask..yet everything go down to the drain...wah...really can go mad...but no matter how i feel im can count myself as lucky...cos joey sis n most probably aunty ...haiz..really don noe how to say..maybe they didnt show out but i really can understand their feeling...that kind of dissapointment..'shi wang' really...i think they give up their chances on the 1st visit cos everyone wants to see but soooo idiotic that the 2nd was....haiz...what can i say...blame n blame on them!!!! what the hell....!!!!we will let u guys off n please just make sure no more 2nd time ok (as if we can do anything...hahaha...) around 6..meet ying n sis..shop at bugis..cos wanted to take photo n get stuffs like...a black album...papers...pens...for 'his' portfolio hehe..i think this is the most expensive gift for him...cos it contains lots..of efforts..hardwork...n sincerity n $$$..don think they are cheapo stuffs ok!!..they are special paper which costs $3 per sheet..n things like tools for making it which i got it from the course which i had signed up for...they all costs $240+++(sis n i got sooo shocked hehe...anyway its our secret..shhh...)BUT!!!! nvm its ok n worth it!!!..cos its for 'him'

*gO OuT wiF siM*

kaoz...wake up late in the morning...then missed call from sim n meet him at hm carpark..he come n pick me up..hehehe...make him wait for 1hr+++...aiya anyway its ok for guys to wait...hahaha...when he reach the carpark..papa's car just happened to drive in too...wa...so funny..he drove n park at the other side n after toking to papa then i hop into his car...went IMM to tok about my problem..n he got me a solution that makes me reali wan to consider cos i really really don wish to do that no for my own good n 'his' as well...i think i have to..but im afraid i cant do it..so...i need time to consider..again...in a difficult position..making hard decision...haiz...after the conversation i really drop my jaw !!! sooo good man~~ anyway..he's my good fren n no longer teacher..cher~..blaw lecturer....cos we share secrets..n keep 'suan' each other...keke..about 3..meet joey sis go orchard-mango..what's happy for that was we were approached by what model stuff..though all these stuff were all craps but still feel good (at least ppl notice me) keke... then meet baby sis, yuzhen, n sis for shopping...wanted to go for fortune telling but that uncle has left...haiyo...no fate man~ then we shop around bugis...got myself some stickers for 'his' portfolio again..hehe.....n oso some papers for decoration wah...so excited n looking forward to that complete folio...*grin*...feeling so great today...cos i was praised by baby sis....saying that i becoming prettier...hahahaah..really???or just some normal compliment???not bhb lo...just wondering~..n end my day wif sis at explanade...open roof ....but so pity that no stars that night...

hands off~ going to tok to brother weiwen on msn....

no.31

2004-11-06T18:50:00.000+08:00

.....GaThErInG.....

gathering wif jael..wendy..ming hui n cynthia...aha~ we went to cineleisure to catch a movie...~princess's diary 2~ wah...a great show....sooo romantic...so pretty n elegant of that princess...her action was so cute...after the movie, we just hang around orchard...wisma..HMV...after meet sis then at there n left the group...cos going to MS....got an interview in mdm wong...then i was empolyed...haiz..don noe y the feeling wasnt that great..suddenly got the feeling dont feel like working but before that still afraid that they wont recruit me...aiyo~ anyway just see how its goes on this coming 15 lo....then we went back to orchard again..met my fren..again...at far east....so coincidence..sis oso met her fren..i think s'pore is really really small...beside town..no else can ppl hang out liao....

...tHinGs i bOuGht....

a purple racer-back
2 cards (one for sim n one for 'him')
a book

no.30

2004-11-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

cLaSs OutInG..cUm..laSt paPeR

last paper!!!!yeah....yaHooo...its over...sOOooo happy..can enjoy holiday n earn $$$ hahaha...after the blaw paper..went all the way back to biz block to find sim...thank him..a BIG THANK YOU !!! u're sOO great!

feeling soo bad to let my classmates to wait for me..but stupid....don want wait just say lo...don have to say..that i did heard sth bad over the phone ok...but nvm since it was an outing...tot of wooo~ everyone will be going but onli a few...quite disappointed!!! after toking to sim..hahaha we've a driver to send us to somerset..hahaha...obviously..it was sim lo...hehe...on our way..he have lots fun n laughter....saying about my butts big!!! argh!! so bad of him saying that his car moving so slowing cos of my BUTTS!! anyway i know that he was joking...christ n me..keeping saying him till he 'buay tahan' aha~ saying about his appetitte was that big n how big....hehe

bEing lEft OUT!!!!

after reaching somerset...met my frenz there..n gt to gather wif classmates...EE..Yucks!!! christ n me was left out by those gals.....hate the feeling..isnt it a class outing?? excuse me! if i were to know that i would just joining others (go home)...haiz....a wise choice to join the two guys....edwin n alvin for pool n billard..that blur blur edwin had led us the wrong way lo..going to a closed-down billard centre..hehe...lucky there are a few more...hahaha...while playing billard..haiz..feeling come again...(the time when we have fun in 4y)...but when playing pool...im quite ok..my 'form' came aha~ loser out n winner stay...i think the two guys giving me chance ar..hehe..i win n i was approached by another table...a guy came forward n invite me for a friendly game..well...its my honour...to take this challenge...but i lose in the game...cos i realise that guy was that bad n was trying to give chance so..i just anyhow la...n he had asked me a few questions..that makes edwin, alvin n christ to get the wrong idea..they tot he was asking for my no. n hello..dear frenz... u tot im that pretty to attract him oh...pls...after that he did know that we should shake hands...as i was thinking that if not i have to initiate...hahaha..

hands off keyboard~ *writing letter to him*

no.29

2004-10-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

~bOrinG~

what a boring day...just chatting wif one of my old old classmates...(sec fren)...she was asking about him n told her about his letter all that..haiz...reali...sianzzzZZzzz....while chatting, i was reading one of my sis's blog...n got my self in the test hahaha..reali that 'zhun' anot??? hahaha am i that good ???

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

no.28

2004-10-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

~thE ViSit On sUndAy~

i could say i enjoy that moment but i sad after that....i got to see him..finally after a long period...well..he had slim down....y did he put on weight..???haiz...it might be very tough for him...all this little care n concerns i could onli show it through letters...i got to say...n confess ...yes....i do have many many many things to say to him...but somehow its the matter of "face" that makes all the words stuck in my throat....i hate the feeling (cos im a coward) ...the only way i could say all these things is only through letters...even sometimes in the letter, i will try to control n cant juz spill or pour everything out...cos i have to think for him..i cant pressurize him by saying all that stuffs...argh!!!n this makes me feel worse...throughout all this visit...i have hide all my feelings n emotions...for everytime i visit him..my heart will start to pump faster than normal..im so excited...nervous...cum happy...n after every visit..if i were to be at home...this is the time i vent out all my feelings...as being a cry-baby..i would cried n cried ....sob*sob*...memories...feelings...promises that we have made...all juz flashback..n keep repeating like radio...it's haunting me....i couldnt escape...its reali hurts....juz like 24/10 sunday..i just visited him...oh!!that moment reali my heart couldnt stop laughing..when he said that" if they asked just said that u r my....." whooooooo~ reali fly high man!!! i also told him i received his letter n i think i will be receiving another soon....hahaha..in the letter..he said about "7-11" things..he reali mean it??? or he still cares thats y makes him blow his top? or m i reali think too much?? haiz...anyway just feel happy as this visit(26/10) reali makes me feel soooo happy...just for that moment...when i got home...i was raining heavily in my room...just couldnt stop...

...to hOrRibLe...PpL...

people might say "oh! gosh ! stop being so dramatic..or how could it be after so long..." n these reali pissed me off!!!! i juz wanna say..fuck off !!! u people juz wont understand the way how i feel...n nv will u have the chance to experience it ....being so rude is what i turn to be when i met frenz who reali dont understand n treasure me ...the only thing u people know are just backstabbing n ur brains only contain shits!!!!! ....

no.27

2004-10-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

joy!!!

again...i can blog again.....don have to blog during school hours..dont need to vex about when can i blog it again..hahaha...this few days... that teacher..wahahaha..."daphne if u have problem pls tell me ...or find someone else whom u can trust to say ur things..i don wan to see u suffer alone..i reali wan to help u..." sooo sweet!!! this teacher i reali reali wannna praise man...he is someone reali treat me very gd hence i can say that i often abuse this ...in the sense i ask him to print notes which i suppose to photocopy myself...wahahaha..ver bad rite???hahaha..nothing to say but just know he's damn gd...reali....christ n me will know it...cos we both got to know alot of things....thanks....mr sim!!!!

soooo sweet of him....i just received his letter after waiting for 3 months lo...finally!!! i got it...n i can its the sweetest letter n words i heard from him since ?? hahaha...im reali happy lo..dont know how to express it out...anyway..happy is the only word i can use to describe....tml i will be visiting him liao...anxious? excited??? yes!! i am...reali don noe how to say...n started to think what can i say to him..what kind of question to ask....oh gosh!!!! just couldnt calm myself down...cos im tooo excited...hahaha..now have to blog tml liao lo...cos going to start my revision...

no.26

2004-10-20T10:16:00.000+08:00

*happy/sad(missing him)*

time to blog again....yup thats right...this moment in school..suppose everyone is studying n revising at home..but poor students like us (DBA2A/06)..got to go back to sch for presentation..n worst things is... have to go bck on two days..n the time is really @#$%%##$/...damn angry lo...troublesome..as if we don need time for revising...haiz..wat to do now students are reali 'pai mia'...

ytd...just got a god brother...weiboon...funny yandao kia...he's reali a joker...but 'ke lian' cos cook maggie mee always kanna scolding...hahaha...

i miss him again....it has been 3 months since i received the last letter from him...i wish i could receive it this month..this phrase i have always use to console myself when i got disappointment after opening the letter-box....i keep asking myself..how come i didnt receive it?? is it on its way??? or he doesnt wish to reply??? being so sensitive n pessimistic...make me reali think alot...n reali upset me sometimes...i reali need to tok to him...but i cant...whenever i look at him..i would suddenly loss of words...haiz...hope he reali keep his promise that he would call me on that day....

recently..soooo upset...becos mum does not feel happy...yet i cant help her...i feel sooo bad...i reali don wish the things she say will come true....

no.25

2004-10-15T14:09:00.002+08:00

*pReSenTatiOn*

haha...finally i have got over my blaw tutorial liao....haiyo...thinking back to the first dau i receive it..it was sooo nervous..(how can u expected someone who don reali noe all about law to do project for law).....well...now i had understand it alreaady...

ytd juz had a presentation for this...experiencing the felling of being a lawyer...wahahaha~ so fun n great..but i guess it would be the last...as ytd is the last tutorial of this sem n i wont be taking blaw again...had the feeling of don reali wish to end this sem...hahaha stupid lo..i think the main reason is the teacher who teach me ba...if is...Sarah..ok lo...if is sim kian ho...ok lo...sensitive sim....wahahaha..ok lo...but if it is ..rwps....oh no~~ pls...spare me!!! hahaha...

...cReditS gOeS tO...

for this sem i have changed abit..in the sense ..learn to be mre happy though sometimes still very sad :(.. perhaps..is because the person had reali say something that reali wake me up!!! seriously lo...nt watever fairy tales or wat drama series...is him!!! definitely NOT someone who i like or fall in love with....he is someone i pay respect to....perhaps it may be appear that im rude or doesnt respect him..but for me i do....he is my fav...teacher...SENSITIVE SIM..the one who knows how he got his name from...n the one keep calling my nick..n all these nicks came from a long long story and becos of that..i reali..feel that i need to change...hahahaha...must reali thanked him if i pass my blaw in this sem exam...as i keep asking him questions...surprisingly~ he did remember the little notes or so- called three sentences describing urself n he did remember mine n tell me i have to change the way how i think abt myself....

rEalLy sO trOublEsOmE ....

so troublesome when i cant post my blog...it's reali irritating n pissing me off....argh~~...so 'ma fan' got to post at sch...i noe can don post but becos i had the habit of writing diary so no choice gt to tolerate...haiz...frenz..finish her project le..so got to go...

no.24

2004-10-11T10:21:00.000+08:00

....irritating....

haiz...i encounter the same problem again....i cant post my blog recently...its so...irrtating..cos i got so much so much little things to say....for the past few weeks, i have been busy doing all the projects...its sooooo tiring and stressing....but cant help....well..lucky NO CONFLICT between group members...erm..this has been always the problems that happen in group project...no time liao...so blog it another time...(cos using sch com. soooo troublesome and no privacy lo...)

no.23

2004-09-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

haPpY???

recently..quite happy wif sch life...enjoy wif all my classmates...i think they know who they r..those who i had always joke wif..share all my cold n lame jokes..hehehehe...but..as a pessimistic person i may asked 'how long will this last?' cos i had never taste before long lasting care n concerns frm frenz and luv ones....

today's topic

old frenz aka old sch mates come to sp to take a look on the retail place for mp3...erm...thought of buying one for myself too....reali upset was...i have reali grow fatter...cy said so loud when he was in the carpark..frm far i already heard wat he said...:( haiz....

during the 3 hours break..chatting wif lj n chris..saying all abt guys...sharing all the same views of wat we had gone through..even ytd we suddenly said abt this yr valentine's day the movie we watched.."torque" when i was wif him i met lj at ms hahaha... aiyo..makes me think of 'him' again...then i stop the conversation immediately...hands off(keyboard)..sooo tired gt to do tutorial....

no.22

2004-09-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

finally!!!!!

finally i can blog liao...or else im oso there to try to blog but inothing was post up....for this few days i started to get to know my fren name--->christine better as in i understand her better..well this few days reali enjoy n reali didnt think of both the 'him' sooooo much...

for christine to read...

hey girl..if u happen to read this blog..tats gd i can make use of this blog liao...as u noe la...some thing r hard to say out wan...remember that time u ever ask me abt whether am i angry wif u??? well..since frm this week(13/9/04 to...) i realise that u r reali a great fren to be wif...so in my point of view..i think frenz should be frank to each other n NO LIES...rite???...remember once u ever ask me abt whether am i angry wif u???..i think i did have some misunderstanding....but on thursday u reali change my views towards u...--->a great hugz to u<---hey reali gt abit touched~..becos u don wan me to miss my tutorial then u accompany me bck hm n bck to sch again...n on the way reali have fun..jokes..laughters..bla~ bla~ bla~wat 'shi san feng yu lu' n ur favourite phrase(hokkien) 'hello~kin meh kiam eng bo' wahahaha..fun lo...n remember wat we did n tok abt when we were in formal wear...hahaha

don't know wat am i doing????

frenz of mine will definitely said 'aiyo..y u msg him again'...for me i juz wan to know is he doing fine all that....but always having the mix feeling..actually i have been bothering wif this feeling very long ago...i always wonder am i really in love wif 'monkey face' or becos all the long i have been waiting for him...so i may think that i really cant leave him...or becos it has become a habit of mentioning him when i ask myself...but the feeling has already fade away since the day he left me??? or i really like him alot lot....??? at times i reali miss him sooo much n wish to see him everyday...but wat i can do is onli looking at his pic in my rm...i ever try out by keeping all his stuff away frm my sight but i had failed...i took everything out again...i think he is my 1st thats y..but i can say he n me reali went through alot..there are ups n downs...im such a 'suay bong' as wat my jie said..whenever important exams are ard the corner, i sure kanna things wan...the most touching incident was 1 day before my n-level exam..remember it was english paper...he promised me tt he will accompany me when i revise my studies but only a few minutes ago he said this n he even brought VCD along..but a few minutes later..he was caught..n was locked up...during this period when he was locked up...i was soo miserable...i couldnt believe that it was just a few minutes...all this things keep repeating in my mind like radio...throughout this exam period beside studying n revising...crying has also becoming part of my daily routines..i cant help myself neither my frenz n family...every hours cry except for sleeping..(3-5 hours)surprise!! he called me n i wanted to tok to him ..but i knew he cant tok too long so i told him to call his family...i waited n waited for this day my 2nd last paper-geography(the day to bail him out)..i went to court n i knew my tears was going to flow out when the hearding was he cant be bailed i tried very hard to control as i dont want him to worry..coldness swept across me...finally tears rushing out when i was preparing to go sch at his home...2 weeks later he was bailed out n i told him everything i did n he was touched..i saw him cried for the 2nd time...
for him i reali did alot of things as well as putting MORE than 100%...but now i can only hope for his return....

serve me right!!!

at times i think of kovin again...y??? nothing could explain this...he is someone who can enter in my life when i think im reali hopeless..n...cheap...dirty...and all the stupid things...n its the 1st time that i had the feeling of being love by someone when i didnt in as much as he does...when im 'pek chek' he was the one 'tio suay'..kanna my bombs..when i hapi..he is nt the 1st i share wif..n when i wan to leave him he did all the things tt maybe girls will be touched..he gt his bike n wanted me to be his 1st pillion but i rejected n nv think of his feeling n he gt me when i did my project in AMK, i don know hw he gt me...n i can buy my favourite beancurd at geylang n knowing that i haven take my dinner, buy nasi-lemak at changi n all the way to jurong for me....but i can said IM NOT!!! maybe im cold-blooded that time..
i had a confusion wif both the 'him' by the time i knew it..its was too late..cos i hurt him tooooo much but i had nv thought of patching wif him but juz miss the days we tok on phone n the things we share..when we were just frenz...the days were the most beautiful ones...maybe i didnt explain or tell him the reasons y i choose to leave him clearly but at that time i reali think it was unnecessary...thats y till nw he wont forgive me...but he was kind enough to accept me in friendster...maybe ppl will not be contented..so i will hpoe tt we could get back to those days...times to stop or tonight cant sleep again....

no.21

2004-09-14T15:28:00.000+08:00

pROblEmS!!

well...i think mine blog n jie wan gt some problems thats y we cant blog ours recently...haiz...pretty 'suay' this few days...during the sch holiday i went back to sch for project...n on thursday on my way back to mrt station...i saw a motorist reali look like kovin...i saw staring at him frm very far but when he look at me that time...i realised it wasn't him~ ~....but i know that even it is him..he wont look at me too...haiz....y lei?????

haiz... til now he still angry wif me...i also dream of him...and also my monkey face...aiyo!!! everything come all at once...so terrible..i hate it...i my blog keep having problems....i have to log in sch computer to blog...cant write at home...and when i just feel like writing i cant write...so argh~~~~

no.20

2004-09-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

rElieVE...

well...finally...finish one of the projects..reali reali..tired.though is a break for us but it seems like a project break for us....just stop here...blog again when i have time...

no.19

2004-09-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

sad sad day....visit him today....rainy day

today i pass my blaw n i gt higher than i expected it to be..suppose to be happy but i wasnt...i skip 2hrs tutorial to visit him...happy when i enter the room...i was sitting at the corner n when looking in the screen i know he cant sees me..but my thinking was it doesnt a matter whether he sees me anot..then he asked " who's that?" then baby replied "zj" then he said i cant sees her face i was so happy that he still wan sees my face..(perhaps im thinking too much)..hahahaha...n throughout the visit is like the 1st tine i went to see him..i didnt talk much as i said i feel uneasy about the last letter he wrote to me...n by juz looking at his face im very very contented liao...he asked " u don have school today meh? " then baby said i skip sch to visit him..n after awhile he asked " anything to say to me? if not, there is no more time liao.." then i said to him u didnt talk to me i don noe wat to say then he said he oso...he had slim down liao..he sais that the food reali..s*** hahaha..left about 30secs...i reali gt to urge to say i will wait for u n miss u soooo much..but i dare not...n my heart reali turn sour when baby says this to him..no matter wat u must tolerate n bear wif it..time passes very fast ok..eat more...at this moment, my heart was already crying like hell...n feeling like thousands of needles keep poking at my heart...the blood keeps on flowing out non-stop....

on my way home after the visit..raining heavily.....

i showed baby wat he wrote to me..in fact every single letter he wrote to me..i told her im reali sad when i read the last one then she told me..maybe he don wan to make any promises to me..n she oso said that so is it true????

i know when i gt home sis will ask me how i feel n hw the visit..when i said i reali started crying...i told her..i came home is becos i feel like im going to rain n i don wish to cry at sch...cos i don wan anyone to noe wat's wrong to him...n i noe ppl will give the type of reactions n i reali don like it...becos who they think they r to judge a ppl by its cover...i oso said that i feel pressurise when ppl ask do u hav bf??? cos i dont dare to say i still wait for him not becos of he is...but i just wan to protect him i don wan ppl make comments about him...maybe ppl may think that im very defensive..but who wont try to protect their love ones???? so hapi when baby said he didnt write to them so many but i receive 6 lo...after reaching home i took out my letter pad n started to write to him..i told him im happy wif his future planning n asked him to eat more n grow fat...hahaha..after raining at home i went to school for blaw tutorial...mr sim give out the ca paper..i gt higher than wat i expected...suppose to be happy but i dont...then during break he asked me who give 'daphne' this name n he start to say im aggressive...opps! this word 'aggressive' hits me...being aggressive n end up in today state..blah blah~ ~ flash across my mind....mood suddenly change n at presentation, i think my face shows everything clearly n i know he gt me wrong when he asked me im not happy if him ez??? n after the lesson i asked him about the last tutorial..he asked me whether ez he has offended me?? or by those guys during break?? or BGR??...argh~ ~ so paiseh..my eyes was filled with tears n ready to flow out..n i control it by stopping him..wah..i think i gave him a shock..he was concern n keep asking me m i alright??? thanks ar..such a caring cher!!!

no.18

2004-09-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

bEfOre thE viSit..

haiz...tml visiting him liao....so scare...hahaha today i didnt get scolding from him but he only say 'i hope u know how to settle the things outside n don need to come in n ask..' reali 'heng' lo....soo tired..but i have to finish two tutorials then can slp ...

no.17

2004-09-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

sick again!!!!!

argh~ ~ ~irritating...i kanna flu again....terrible man~so funny lo...toking to a fren regarding the project...before i say sth i sneeze n say 1/2 way through oso sneeze lo..soo funny ..then end up both laughing..hahaha...later tml don noe my nose will like red nose reindeer anot?? well...recently i started to noe a fren better..she is someone which i think i can rely on ba...provided i don judge wrong la....but i think i wont lo...kekeke..reali soo coincidence that this fren noe the bitch who hurt me before one lo....but she is definitely different from her..today is teacher's day celebration lo..both frm the same sec sch but the bitch didnt go bck..i guess too paiseh to go bck ba...n my fren told me she saw her in jurong point...i dont noe why..though i didnt do sth that harms ppl but im so scare to go jp today even jiaying ask me go jp i turn her down...im not afraid of her.. but i feel that im a loser as compare to her....

worry!!!!

very worry for tml...cos tml start work liao..then today marie juz cried cos he was scolded by doc. kaoz...wonder he dont scold ppl his mouth is uncomfortable ez...sometimes i reali wonder he shows face ez becos the sales not gd so he use this as an excuse to scold us..or reali we make mistakes tt we shldnt make...anyway..he shld understand that we r juz part-timers n we are schooling so we oso need to cope wif studies so he cant expect much from us...then he wan us to noe everything in the clinic n we don understand n memorise our studies ez.....reali don makes things difficult for us ma...like that who's going to help him lei....

no.16

2004-08-31T10:08:00.000+08:00

at home......

skip 1hr tutorial...doing nothing at home so decide to write here...ytd..i got to understand a fren('jia jia') better..he is another fren who is very gd to be fren wif n oso another one so devoted to gf just like him...that is y i started to miss him again but what can i do???

a few days ago i tell myself to be brave n face all the cruel reality...no more tears...no more pain...no more sad...no more making frenz worry for me...

2 days more to visit him...don know how to say...don know what to say to him...having a kind of pressure n had mix feeling...excited+ anxious yet reluntant...i reali reali afraid that he will say something which i don wish to hear....maybe im trying to avoid but to me avoiding is better facing it..i know that this will be the only time i can visit him n the next time around will be either november or later than that...since that day(13.8.04) i received his letter till nw i just reply one letter n is not i don want reply but i feel so inferior to write...most of them say he said that becos he may think that he is someone not worth for me to wait for..or he dont wish to make any promises....but as i noe there are people tends to think positively in the matter of love....even they know the truth they will try their best to console themselves by saying he/she has its own reasons for doing that.....
arghh!!! headache la...feel like being a cry baby again but no more tears.....i always tell myself just let be ...things will come when u least expected....i know if i love him,set him free.if he comes back to me, i know he's mine. if he dont then he was never mean to......

i reali want to tell him i will wait for him since i have been waiting for so long, he is someone worth waiting for n with no regrets!!!!!

frenz out here will u support me?????

no.15

2004-08-29T18:55:00.000+08:00

FeElinG GuiLtY....

ytd was my very very good sister birthday..i was supposed to turn up yet i went to chinablack wif jie...actually i intend to go there n pass her the present then i go chinablack but the time dont allow cos im such a girl who likes to 'dili deli' wan...haiz...its kind of disappointment to her n i feel gulity so i wan to turn down my jie but she already promised her fren that she is going..n she said that if i don wan to go she wont go...haiz..then iwas like in adifficult position....but on my way to chinablack..i showed my attitude..(must admit) then my face was damn 'black'....

chinablack...

going to chinablack for the first time..should be excited but bcos i didnt turn up another function..so my mood was abit....hahaha thinking back .....i supposed it to be 2nd time but that it the poly bash n one of my frenz under age..so we didnt go ..but we had a great time at music underground instead. when waiting outsid eim so angry cos jie said that not many ppl going but all is frm ex-yuan ching n i never tok to them wan lo...but later i get to tok to my senior...and start conversation wif most of them......in chinablack..reali R&B lo...n abit retro...wahaha think techno will be far behind soon..to my surprise was...despite of my look..still got a guy name vincent approach me...at this moment suddenly sth flash in my mind that recently i started to tok to vincent the one who i noe in first semester in yr1 nthe one who r reali understanding n nice to be fren wif...but becos of misunderstanding...then we didnt tok..toking abt this fren im reali disappointed that time when we didnt tok..it was so uncomfortable becos he is my jie-mei as well as listener...but thanks to whoever or watever things help me to start the so called frenship again....

friendship...

i noe throughout my secondary school i didnt had a chance to enjoy the time where frenz get to gather ard...or outing together becos that time im attached so i tends to turn down all this outings so other outing they slowly conted me out or tot that i wont be turning so don bother to ask...so in poly or last year...i will tried my very best to treasure all the frenz that i know...especially -ve,lyn,wendy,kaixin guo(jael)...n etc...i noe my 1st impression wasnt gd for ppl who see me..but i will tried to communicate wif them so as to change their impression of me..cos i reali hope to find a true fren ( can share everything wif,available when u need her/him)...one is enough..as i noe my fren wont last long..i used to hav a few frenz who r like that but after awhile becos of quarrel then we r not that close....for me...becos i was hurt n hurt by frenz who r reali close to me n i reali treasure them...so now i dont reali trust anyone soo easily...

i made up my mind becos ued to be someone who tends to look strong but weak inside n ppl noe me will says "if i don noe u i tot u r happy-go-lucky" n i started to changed becos i think y must i act???? but nw i decided to change back becos i feel that one's mood can affect the other...n i noe if im like tt my frenz will be affected n i don wan...now i want to treasure my new classmates...we have to go through everything for 2yrs....n i reali don understand y that girl tends to give me that kind of face in class..don like my face then forget it ...i tried to tok to u..but u don bother then i don think i shld try anymore....

no.14

2004-08-26T19:08:00.000+08:00

SurPriSe!!

surprise lo...long lost fren(xxxxx) call me lo...hahaha..then we contact bck liao...n he say wanna give me a ride lo...=p haiz...luckily today jie gt a new keyboard or i cant write this..ytd sooo 'jialet' i muz use the mouse to cut n paste the alphabets frm my own folder to sign in msn ....reali thanks her man...kaiqi so clever sia..noe hw to read my words wif *** in between the word....soo bad of me keep calling one of my classmates as 'jia jia' hahaha..he himself shld noe y i call him this nick..so lazy to write cos of the stupid QA ca test..gt to stop here...

no.13

2004-08-25T01:19:00.000+08:00

Sad..saD..

sad lo....i think i will visit him lo...hmm...finally make up my mind...gt one mre supporter liao...i tok to one of his fren ytd...then he says wait lo...aiyo~ i oso noe..but...hw lei??? ppl always say tt..."u r still young lo...aiya..there are better ones outside...don be silly lo...blah~ blah~..but do those ppl ever think tt wat if they were in my shoes ??will they say tis?? will they goes wif their feeling or they choose to listen to others??? i don mean tt those advices r bad or no use..i noe they care for me..but is the problem tt don wish to let go this feeling or reali cant lo...wat should i do...??? everyday being soo moody is like bad for health man...

yes~~~ wo wu wo wu yeah yi~~~ hahaha getting the product liao..but i noe i will be turning to ugly pig lo...reali hope tt it will get rid of my scars!!!!haiz...pray hard...don wish to spend anymre $$$$ liao..

no.12

2004-08-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

MoOd SwinG..

today..i abit mood swing...haiz...hw cvm i dare to reject a good opportunity lo...a chance to see him..n i choose not to..feeling ashamed? very vexed lei...couldnt believe tt i reject man....haiz...reali lo...even i go so what??? will he be happi??? touched?? but i noe i will be sad n paiseh to see him..wat else can i do....but i noe once i miss this time i got to wait for months to see him again cos no more holiday liao...unless the same i go take mc again...aiyo...if i go this time oso need mc....haiz...y life isnt going smoothly for me...n y ppl ard me r getting so 'xin fu' reali envy lei...can the fairy come to my rm?? change me to a pretty girl..n take all my 'fan nao' away......again..coming out wif toopid thoughts again..hahaha...reali can stand myself sometimes ...full of rubbish n imaginations....idiot--->daphne....

no.11

2004-08-22T02:30:00.000+08:00

tEsT OvEr!!

finally!! b-law test is over!!! whew~ ~...the biggest load is removed...hahaha..today meet my fren at station at 10.20am yet i was late lo...make her wait n we rush like our legs going to fly out frm our body..wahaha...then end up the test haven start lo..everyone still waiting outside...(-_-'')

aiyo...recently i plan to edit my blog to make it better yet so lazy to do lo...juz feeling sooo lazy to move...sigh~...butts getting bigger n bigger...as well as my tighs lo...hw lei...???always wanted to get slimmer..but despite getting slim..im fat lo...sob* sob*

miss him soooo much...

no.10

2004-08-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

kaOz..KaOz...

sigh~ ~ CAs n CAs kaoz..soo many CAs sia...haha...before going to sch i chat wif one fren who is my new classmate..haha..funny lo...didnt know tt we gt soo many similar point of views( feelings...ideas..)hahaha then we keep laughing at the jokes...waahahaha..finali find someone who can click liao but she seldom join our class lei...=( but she said we'll meet for lunch...yippee!!!

saw the girl ytd n i know she saw me too...i guess she juz pretend not to see ba...its okie...actuali i gt the urge of going to her n tok to her..but im afraid she might hurt or do something to hurt me again...i don wan lo...but in sch soooo coincidence lo...see her n even go bugis oso...haiz...fate?? worry man~ ~anyway im nt afraid...good news is im hapi cos i feel tt i had learn to 'kan kai' le...nv think of it sooo often....maybe start work after this two weeks ba...

haiz...i going to do my face liao...means facial but will be more more uglier!!!! cos hav little little black dots on my eye bag cos to get rid of those....haiz...if going to see him i will do it later.. if not..i think have to do it during the one week break liao...hope tt sch starts not so obvious lei...or reali will go mad de.....

no.9

2004-08-19T22:17:00.000+08:00

RainY dAy..

today..haiz..kind of so sian attending the whole lesson...somemre early in the morning started raining lo...if nv go sch..wa..then can slp like pig!!!!hahaha..still not bad cos having lots n lots of laughter in b-law tutorial...mr sim ar...say abt hw many grp he need then all of us started counting just simply hope tt...wahahaha all of us sooo bad lo...but im the worst lo..cos im the one soo obvious aiyo~~ toopid me keep on lost counting n keep counting again n again....then during break he still 'suan' me say tt y my fren like tt wan then i 'suan' bck n say tts he precious student wa...he cant take it lo...buay tahan man~ ~...

(^O^)well...ytd i did one toopid things lo...i msg kovin cos i received a private no...haiz..i tot it was my sis but haiz..she like pig liao nv reply me..then bo bian then i msg him..n i can say 'tio suay' again...he said tt don msg him again..n pls msg other n not him...haiz...suay bong like tt wan la...everytime tio tis tio tt....kaoz...buay tahan...but no matter wat i still can tahan cos i let him dwn...haiz...excuse me! anyone can tell me wat month ar??? y everyone seems like sharing the same problem wif me..all bother wif the word LOVE...hope all of them can overcome n sunshine after the rain hor....

no.9

2004-08-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

ArGh!!!

today,i nv go sch...argh!!!! im so lazy lo...lazy till dont feel like doing everything...hate it soo much kovin msg me ytd...ask me gt call him anot...haha..he think i dare to call meh...pls lo..so many to vex liao no time man...soo irritating~~so many project to do n all the deadline so near n just feel like screming to the stupid sch...oei~~ stop giving all the project ok ...not all at once u think we r robot??? toopid test n project all together lei..hero ar...toopid~~!!!!!! "ARGH~~~~~!!!!!" sooooo irritating....

no.8

2004-08-17T23:44:00.000+08:00

fEeLinG nOt gOod...

haiz.. still the same...feeling not good..seriously now no words could express the agony of my soul!!!!!no one can understand hw i feel..maybe some may think is small matter n some may say im being too emotional..m i showing out too obvious on my face??? will i affect my frenz who are around me?? juz like [???],one fren of mine who think tt im a pessimistic person n i might affect her n her bf think so...n i juz cant do anything cos i oso don wish to be like tt but i juz noe tt im emotional n the worse is... i cant control it...maybe becos of tt i lose her [???]..she is one tt i rely on when im sad..but nw i onli noe i must learn to be independent..

today,one of my tutor noticed it n he said is there anything bothering me?? he realised tt im not as cheerful as last semester. well, i juz replied tt im juz a problematic child...i hope i will..thanks mr sim...maybe im rude as in i tok quite loud to one of my classmate cos he was playing the song 'jie kou' so loud tt reali can affect me..then i juz say 'hey don play so loud lei..'haha..beside tt i missed one of my fren..another one who i can share all my things wif..but now we don see each other so often n even to get to see each other,we will tok abt other thing cos i cant juz throw all my things to her rite..like tt nt onli spoil her day n like tt we hav lesser time to 'xu xu jiu'.. saying abt her i ask told 'jie' tt though we r close but we didnt tok on phone b4..she reali understand me well lo..i didnt tell her anything but she juz suddenly pop out to ask 'y u seems to be sad sad like tt'...i guess its becos we get to noe each other better nw tts y..never will she left me out lo..i reali appreciate her as a gd fren of mine..n today i ask her one toopid qns i ask her hw 'arh'(close) we r..cos we tok abt someone who is trying to be 'arh' wif her..though i didnt tell her all my things in detail but i noe if i did she will console me..i reali hope tt she will nt like others who enter n leave so easily...who i don noe can consider as fren or juz passerby..

no.7

2004-08-14T23:32:00.000+08:00

pRojEcTs!!(-_-")

well...nothing much to say..but just knowing tt hav to get ready for projects and have to self revise for b-law...maybe still on holiday mood ba...aiyo no mood to study...(try to skip lesson as much as possible like tt)...the fellow still angry wif me..=( my friend will say y still wanna think of him??? to me, is not thinking but is becos i feel tt he is reali gd in being a friend..is true n nt hypocrite like someone else..

yesterday..had a great experience in putting braces for patient..wahahah...lucky didnt had scolding from him...

no.6

2004-08-14T01:35:00.000+08:00

haPpY? fUnnY?

i received letter liao...but i'm not happy...haiz...avoiding again..i rather i had nv received it=(..happy to receive but a great disappointment...maybe is becos i hav been pining too much hopes...maybe is i'm hav been thinking too much...maybe n alot of maybe....y cant i hav a happy day or even let me happy for a few hours?? reali is a kind of feeling tt i cant describe out or express out...feeling reali down..its like a few inches above hell!!! y must he explain the meaning of 'miss you' n y he still wanna say he chose to reply mine 1st..reali don understand at all...don noe wat to do anymore...argh!!!!!

papa..sis..realise tt my face like swollen n as for me i think i hav grow fatter..hahaha..reali don noe wats wrong wif me??? just don feel like going to see doctor but papa nag n nag...grow fat need to see doctor meh???hahaha..to me it's sounds so funny lo...

no.5

2004-08-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

pIsSeD OfF!!

today...argh...the stupid bitch said me...angry..stupid ass....i hates u when u said me...u think u r fit to say me??? oh pls....look into the mirror 1st to see hw ugly ur face look like n u think i respect u??? can u use ur pea-sized brain to think or perhap u r the onli person who born w/o brain???ugh...dont provoke me anymore or u 'll be sorry...i warn u...btw u ass don noe hw to read n don even noe tt i'm saying about u...hahaha....cant imagine hw childish u r...n have u think before u r such a moron out there...whenever i try to accept u or treat u gd u will try to do sth which irritate me n even take advantage of me...cant stand ur idiotic face..i'm going to scold u this f***ing bitch here to vent my anger cos who ask u step my tail...u think u r perfect?? no man!! u r the worst woman i ever met...cant imagine hw lazy u r...everyone who noe u well sure will noe...u NEVER do any housechore n u onli noe hw to drink water n think tt water will refill by itself...always lie down ther like don noe wat..noe onli hw to watch tv..pls don think ttoo highly of urself lo...every movement of u just get on my nerves...so pls stop thinking tt u look gd in sleeveless top..as like ' lao go~' to me..hahaha...

no.4

2004-08-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

diSaPpOintmEnT!

sooooo disappointed cant bear to but the product...'sob'..'sob'...wanted it soo much...

cRyinG AGAIN!!!

while typing this...i reali sad...i'm feeling very very LONELY~ ~ ~ ~i'm damn sickening as i don wan anyone to enter my world...yet keep saying tt i'm super lonely!!! haiz...feel like knocking my head against the wall...hates!!!! y? y? y? y my life is always so miseraable??? cant they give me a break ??? going to collapse..y...family must have problems??? Y? i cant tell anyone lo..they cant help me too..beside..i'm too ashamed to say...n some maybe laughing behind ur back...wah ...KAOZ!!! damn sad ar....(T_T)..cant stop my tap water...

i want to vent everything out...but no one to turn to..cos i'm a problematic child...all of them might be sick of my problem..one haven solve yet another comes again...y the woman always find fault with us...cant she let us off???

i reali don noe wat to say..reali so sad to see papa drink to numb himself...yet i cant do anything to help...so wat though we are better than last time but NONE of us is happy...reali..going to COLLAPSSEE......

aiya how i wish on 31 dec 1985..i was not born ..then i wont tied up wif all these stupid things...can 'u' lend me ur ears..or spare me a few minutes..i need u!!! to listen to all my sorrows...

no.3

2004-08-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Sad daY...

haiz...it's a sad day...i'm down in my luck...i don even know what happen today!!! so suay!!!damn suay..under the hot hot sun..like wan to faint..feeling soo giddy~.i thought i could get hold to the lamp-post but...unfortunately...i never and i end up falling down..."bang!" kaoz..damn pain..and so pathetic lo..gt to climb up myself...i tell myself.."wei wei bu yao pai~~ die dao yao zi ji pa..." (T_T)...beside having the pain..i still torn my jean...wah biang!!! i still cut my knee..but thanks god that i didn't wear skirt or i cant imagine...

again!!! hoping to receive my letter but when i open my letter-box...i didn't see a blue envelope..sooo disappointed~i'm reali hope for his letter...when r u writing to me again??? i miss you ~ !!!!

ard a few hrs ago...juz gt to know some frenz...hahaha...widen my sosial circle..liao...but no matter hw many frenz i got...my heart still dont smile =(

no.2

2004-08-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

miSsIng hiM !!!

it's late now...i just cant sleep cos i miss 'him'...guess he wont know oso.just finish writing my letter..want to tell him that i will support him about his thought of doing biz blah~~blah~~but i'm sooo disappointed cos i m not sure whether he can release early anot...n i nv receive his letter for sooo long. i oso don know whether m i being too sensitive??? i just feel that whenever i see him he's like not hapi...i reali wish to see him but just this feeling of don know will he angry or feel uncomfortable when he see me..hold me back..n i don wish to take away the chance for other ppl....(T_T).....just cant describe this terrible feeling..the only thing i do is to cry cry n cry in my room...everytime got to control n act in front of friends n family members that im fine..happy...miss 'you' soooo much....

beginning of my diary

2004-08-09T19:26:00.000+08:00

bEgInnInG

hello~to my dearest pekinese paradise!!(call u this becos he call me pekinese) from today onwards got to spend my days wif u...share every bits and pieces!! haiz..spend a long day to create this blog...finally got some result liao...abit tired and pissed off~ national day doing all this...and is the way how i spend my day???cant believe it...

thanks to jeff who help me in this blog!!!